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Straight From the Bottle

And Then He Spoke English

It is so typical that the moment one begins to doubt the inevitable, the inevitable happens. As in my last post about how Archer refuses to learn English, followed by today's imminent post about how he has overnight, decided to communicate using words I understand. Of course. He was bound to show me up/prove me wrong immediatley after I called him out. OF COURSE!

 
Yesterday, as we were leaving the gym, Archer reached his tiny hands toward the sky at one of the many ghetto-birds in permanent rotation over Hollywood, and said, plain as day, "Helicopter!"

 

I stopped. Dead. In. My. Tracks. 

 

"What? What did you just say?"

 

"Helicopter."

 

Actually, it sounded more like Ha-caw-caw. But whatever. It was close enough. 

 

"OH MY GAWD! He just said Helicopter!" I grabbed the nearest homeless bum, puking in the street outside the Y. "Did you hear that?"

 

Archer giggled. "Haaaa-caw-caw."

 

"Yes! That's right! Haaaa-caw-caw! You're so right! You're so very right!"

 

Another helicopter appeared. And then another. And Archer kept on with his bad self as the cops whizzed by and sirens went off all around us.

 

"Haaaa-caw-caw. Haaaaa-caw-caw. Haaaaaaaaaaa-cawcawcawcaw."

 

We waited for the ambulances to pass before crossing the street. I was euphoric. Shocked. It felt like Christmas morning! Sure, Archer can say, "Hi" and "Mama"... but DUDE! Those don't really count.  And now? His first word will forever be helicopter. HELICOPTER!
 

Hollywood Blvd

 

And so we walked on down the boulevard, toward the horizon and a sunset red with smog, below the parting clouds and swirling ghetto birds toward the car, serenading each other with the single greatest, most bad-ass word of all time:

 

"Haaaw. Caw. Caw!"


***

P.S. In your face, haters! 


Comments

 

Andy said:

Nice job, little man!

January 24, 2007 5:12 PM
 

BarbaraR said:

I *knew* it!  Just wait - new words pop up when you least expect it.  Time to stop cursing!!!

January 24, 2007 6:12 PM
 

liprap said:

Mazel tov!  Woo-hah!  He really DOES have the power.

January 24, 2007 7:09 PM
 

motherbumper said:

That is the coolest first word ever.  Way to go Archer, I'd expect no less.

January 24, 2007 9:54 PM
 

Peter said:

I am told I uttered my first word right after my mom and I got back from a doctor appointment during which she said she was worried I wasn't talking.  Since then, I have not shut up.

A park-friend of mine with a son a good six months younger than my lads used to fret all the time that her guy wasn't talking yet, and asked me, only half-kidding, to have the lads teach him.  I tried to get het to not worry about it so much, but it didn't work.  Now he too chats all the time.

January 25, 2007 2:43 AM
 

Andrea said:

Way to go Archer!  Wow, there's just good news all around the GGC abode this week.

Haaaaw caw caw!  Word to your mother.  Literally.

January 25, 2007 11:26 AM
 

Straight from the Bottle said:

Now that Archer has broken the "first word" barrier I keep assuming that everything that comes out of

February 3, 2007 4:36 PM
 

Straight from the Bottle said:

Learning to channel one's aggression is as American as apple pie. So is a Fender Strat. So I guess it

February 27, 2007 2:49 AM
 

kalimurzino@rambler.ru said:

David

May 28, 2007 5:40 AM
 

Straight from the Bottle said:

I feel like I've been trying to catch rain in a bucket for the past year and now, suddenly, I'm caught in a torrential downpour. I'm talking about words. W-O-R-D-S. As in, Archer has them. Them , becoming more plural as the days pass. Yes

August 22, 2007 7:07 PM

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rebecca woolf

Rebecca Woolf in LA

Who says becoming a mom means succumbing to laser tattoo removal and moving to the suburbs? This young writer and mother of one gives it to you Straight From the Bottle.

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