Babble

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Straight From the Bottle

The Truth About Dads and Moms

 

When my husband is home I get lazy. Sometimes I even sit down. Yup. You heard me.  And once in a while I even crack open a book and sometimes, SOMETIMES I read it.

 

So the other day, stricken by the silence of the house, and the fact that I had actually made it through an entire chapter without interruption, I put down my book and headed toward the kitchen, where I could make out the faint giggles of my husband and son:

 

Blurry Strut

 
Of course, there they were, like a couple of puppies. Archer was barefoot and shirtless, with his feet (shoes and all) splashing in the dog water bowl and Hal was smearing dirty water with his fingers around the room. They were happy as two boys could be. Laughing, sopping wet, sliding around the kitchen in dog-water swamp. In our freezing cold house.

 

In retrospect it kind of looked like fun, but at the time all I could muster was a gasp of horror and a dramatic hand-to-the-forehead.

 

"For God's sake, Hal! You'll both catch cold! You're soaking wet! What are you thinking? Get out of those wet clothes this instant!" I reached for a mop as the boys looked up at me with great big, woops-did-we-do-something-wrong, blinking eyes.


And I realized that for all the times I think I'm cool and laid-back and care free, I'm not. Not even close.

 

Dads get to make the mess and Moms want/have to/can't help but clean them up. I hate to admit it but it's true.

 

Belly & Dad

 

That even though I pride myself on my ability to make a mess and break shit and thrash and tear and spill and smear, I'm far more concerned with the clean up. The slobber-infested water bowl flooding the kitchen floors Archer eats off of. The dirt on his little hands that I can't wait to wash away.

 

And that's the truth, ladies and germs. The clean as a whistle dirty-ass truth.

 

*** 

 


Comments

 

thesilentk said:

Dude, I had to SIGN UP to leave you a comment.

And all I wanted to say was- I hear ya!

January 3, 2007 5:43 PM
 

Wendy said:

This is a constant battle in our home.  I put the dog food onto the counter and my husband puts it on the floor, because the dog might starve.  

I am just trying to teach my son that there is better food a little higher up.  It is amazing that this boy refuses to eat table food, but will devour a whole bowl of dog food in a minute.  

January 3, 2007 7:51 PM
 

motherbumper said:

You nailed it Rebecca - I used to think I was soooo laid back and here I am playing the straight-man Felix to husband's fun loving Oscar.  I've decided to break the barrier by signing up for "Messy Babies" in February which is a six week program for me and the little lady that apparently involves finger painting, mud pies and like-messes all taking place in the not-cleaned-by-me local community hall.  Booya!

January 3, 2007 8:21 PM
 

liprap said:

Hah!  You've also highlighted another BIG truth about parenthood.  If things are too quiet for too long, something's up with the kids.

And by "kids", I may or may not be including one's significant other.  Depends on the situation...

January 3, 2007 8:50 PM
 

GirlsGoneChild said:

Ha! By kids I ALWAYS think signficant other. ALWAYS.

January 3, 2007 11:13 PM
 

Peter said:

I've gone from obsessive tidy guy to slob-in-training since the Lads arrived.  I used to be a neat freak.  Now if I find something odd and slimy, I usually just toss it out of eyeshot.

January 4, 2007 4:39 AM
 

Heather said:

how true how true.  i used to laid back and cool.  No i did, honest, but now i am uber frau when it come to keeping things tidy and clean.  when did I get so uptight?

January 5, 2007 2:16 AM
 

RachelZ said:

So... wait.  You're saying that my natural slobbishness is going to GO AWAY?  I'm going to eventually get the urge to actually clean things?  I'm scared!

I thought I was doing all right because I'm not obsessed with keeping The Jillian clean and tidy.  Her daddy is always following us around with a burp cloth to catch drool and whatnot, but I'm more of a Whoops-Wipe-n-GO! sort of person.  

To think that I'm going to have to not only figure out where the vacuum IS but also how to use it is frightening to me.

January 5, 2007 8:52 AM
 

Health Advisor said:

My favorite go to sleep food is vanilla ice cream with Herseys choc. syrup. Couple that with a Yanni cd softly playing and you have it made. WBR LeoP

March 15, 2007 7:38 AM
 

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About GirlsGoneChild

Sometimes I rhyme: http://www.girlsgonechild.blogspot.com.

in

About the Blogger

rebecca woolf

Rebecca Woolf in LA

Who says becoming a mom means succumbing to laser tattoo removal and moving to the suburbs? This young writer and mother of one gives it to you Straight From the Bottle.

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