Political Nanny : GOP

Ralph Nader: Hey, Guys, I'm Back!

Madeline Holler — Sun, 24 Feb 2008 18:17:00 GMT

Everybody's favorite election spoiler, Ralph Nader, has officially come back for more.

He announced on Meet the Press this morning that he will be launching his third third-party candidacy and running a campaign based on his anti-corporation message. Of course, Dems aren't happy, but even he -- Ralph Nader, jouster of windmills -- had this to about whether he expects to win:

“Not a chance,” he said. “If the Democrats can’t landslide the Republicans this year, they ought to just pack up, close down, and re-emerge in a different form.”

Hillary's not exactly excited. The GOP, on the other hand, is likely loving it. As for Obama, we're pretty sure he's not terribly concerned.

Hillary Plays Texas Hold-Me-I'm-Trembling-'em

Madeline Holler — Wed, 13 Feb 2008 05:10:00 GMT

The Potomac Primary is so yesterday. Which is why Hillary Clinton is in Texas today. She lost big in Tuesday's primaries in Virginia, Maryland, and Washinton, D.C. She's gambling all her chips on Texas and Ohio's March primaries, the next big races and what appear to be her last chance at the nomination.

Mike Huckabee, too, has to regroup if he's going to continue in the race. McCain won big in the veteran rich region of the country.

No more modesty or superstitions: Barack Obama and McCain have no choice but to adopt the frontrunner label.

Let's see what hand the voters in Texas deal her. In the words of Kenny Rogers (hey, he's irrelevant -- surely he endorsed somebody!), she's got to know when to hold'em ... and when to run. (Or, not run in this case.)

Oh, and she should probably congratulate her competitor, since it's become newsworthy that she hasn't. Just saying. Congrats Barack and John!

What do you think of a John McCain/Barack Obama match up?

Photo: Ron Niebruegge

Rock Star to McCain: Quit Playing My Songs

Madeline Holler — Tue, 12 Feb 2008 18:12:00 GMT

Rock 'n' roller John Mellencamp told John McCain to unplug the "Pink Houses" and find his own damn songs. Well, not exactly. But probably pretty close.

Indiana's most famous native son, a lifelong Democrat, said he didn't want the Republican presidential frontrunner to use "Pink Houses" and "Our Country" at his campaign events anymore. The rocker said that he was distressed to hear the popular songs about a decaying American landscape were being played without his permission at McCain's big rallies. Mellencamp producers have asked that the songs no longer be used.

But you can't have a rally without music. McCain's Beach Boys performance back-fired, so to speak. What's left for the GOP candidates when you take away social commentary rock? Morrissey?

And Then There Were 5: Another Candidate Waves Bye-Bye

Madeline Holler — Thu, 07 Feb 2008 17:35:00 GMT

[UPDATE BELOW] Another candidate has thrown in his teddy bear bath towel and will withdraw from the rugrat election race.

He hasn't made it official yet, but advisers to the once very likely GOP nominee are confirming that former Massachussetts governor Mitt Romney will announce Thursday that he is ending his presidential election campaign. He's expected to make the announcement when he address conservatives at a convention Thursday afternoon.

Romney takes with him his five sons, loads of grandkids, his lovely wife and a much lighter personal fortune. Leading up to the Super Tuesday primaries and caucuses, he had spent more than $35 of his own money to keep his campaign afloat.

More details as we get them. In the meantime, Political Nanny will pack up his change of clothes and favorite playthings and prepare for another good-bye. We suppose Huckabee was correct Tuesday night when he said it's now a two-man race over on the GOP side (sorry, Ron Paul).

It's now John McCain's nomination to lose. With more room in the sandbox, the rest of them win!

[UPDATE] Romney told a shocked audience of conservatives his reasons for abandoning his presidential dreams. In summary, Iraq:

“in this time of war, I simply cannot let my campaign be a part of aiding a surrender to terror.

“Barack and Hillary have made their intentions clear regarding Iraq and the war on terror. They would retreat and declare defeat,” said Romney.

“And the consequence of that would be devastating. It would mean attacks on America, launched from safe havens that make Afghanistan under the Taliban look like child’s play. About this, I have no doubt.”

Others, like Brian at DailyScanner, see it as a postponement of the Apocolypse.

What's your take? Good news? Bad news? If Mitt was your guy, who will you support now?

via Politico

The Edwards Matrix

Madeline Holler — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 11:34:00 GMT

Think of it as the grown-up version of picking a prom date.

An Edwards supporter who doesn't know which box to check on her absentee ballot has come up with a cheat sheet to figure out which candidate she will support. She has posted the Edwards Matrix for all to see.

Problem is, the matrix is inconclusive. The mom who designed it gets all the important stuff -- Iraq, healthcare, experience, hair. But the would-be dates are still in a dead heat.

Political Nanny is looking for something definitive -- a gun to her head, marching orders, whatever you got. Clinton, Obama ... Obama, Clinton. To hell with choice. Could somebody help her decide!

Seems like Republicans are less undecided than Democrats, but there are still plenty who are (but with much less consequence, since McCain seems to be far enough ahead of the others). Apparently, we undecideds are not alone. Salon's Rebecca Traister brilliantly describes how millions of Democratic voters are feeling right this very minute. And this minute. And this one too.

Who Loves You, Campaign Baby? (Rambo, Porn Stars and Writers, That's Who)

Madeline Holler — Fri, 01 Feb 2008 14:23:00 GMT

Running for president is not a popularity contest. Oh, wait, it is! And just like high school this competition hinges on the backing of other popular kids. This year's election has been a veritable Endorsement Bonanza. Everybody is getting in on it, no matter what their relevance levels, which for most, in Political Nanny's estimation, peaked somewhere between 1983-1989.

So for every Maya Angelou that steps up to stump for Hillary Clinton, there's a Toni Morrison who thinks you should vote for Barack Obama. Mike Huckabee's campaign took off after Chuck Norris promised to kick campaign butt. Now Hulk Hogan is throwing his weight around to encourage support for Obama. Rounding out the Aging Muscle-Man endorsements is Ric Flair, also for Huckabee, and Sylvester Stallone, a McCain man, naturally (this endorsement suspiciously coincided with the release of Stallone's latest Rambo movie).

This year's backers come in all shapes, sizes and professions. Here are a few more:

Vampirist Anne Rice and barrister-cum-crime-novelist John Grisham heart Clinton.

Porn star and writer of "How to Make Love Like a Porn Star" Jenna Jameson would like to tell you how to vote like a porn star -- casting a ballot for Hillary Clinton. She has her reasons. Of course, Porn Stars are not a monolith. Savanna Samson wanted to toss her lot to Rudy Giuliani, but his campaign climaxed prematurely and made a huge mess. Equally deflated is King of Porn, Hustler's Larry Flynt, who made his sweet love for Dennis Kucinich well known. Now, all Flynt has left are a few good memories of what might have been.

There was, of course, the Grande Dame of endorsers -- Oprah for Obama. Here are some other celebrity endorsements (a couple of which are even 21st-Century relevant)

Kevin Bacon - John Edwards
Donnie and Marie Osmond - Mitt Romney (Political Nanny KNEW he'd have someone!)
Lance Armstrong - John Edwards
John Mayer - Ron Paul (that body of thought is a wonderland)
Jeff Gordon - Rudy Giuliani
Bo Derek - Rudy Giuliani (eh. 7.5)
50 Cent - Hillary Clinton (word?)
Adam Sandler - Rudy Giuliani
Martha Stewart - Hillary Clinton (you OK with that, Hillary?)
George Clooney - Barack Obama (double swoon)
Harry Belafonte - John Edwards (daylight come and he went home ...)
Wilford Brimley - John McCain (dinosaurs, unite!)
Scarlett Johansson - Barack Obama

You're relevant to Political Nanny no matter when you peaked. Whose endorsement are you endorsing? Whose endorsement do you find stunning?

Thanks to BuzzFeed

Toys For Political Junkies' Babies

Madeline Holler — Tue, 29 Jan 2008 22:08:00 GMT

Many of you have privately confessed to Political Nanny how your obsession with this election has cut into your quality parenting time. Days and nights of on-demand newsfeeding. The agony of letting pundits cry it out. You know everything about the remaining candidates, yet you've forgotten your own flesh-and-blood's birth weight and shoe size.

No need to abandon either of your babies. You can rear children and obsess about the nation's future at the same time. There are plenty of activities to bridge these two seemingly opposing interests.

Political Reading for the Whole Family:

Political Nanny already told you about the children's book Why Mommy is a Democrat, wherein loving, kind, Democratic squirrels watch in disbelief as elephants behave rudely. Now the companion, Why Daddy is a Democrat is available to promote a smug satisfaction in progressive voting. In these beautifully illustrated pages, we are told that Democrats support schools (of fish!) and make the earth feel better (it gets sick!) and give police and firefighters the support the need to do their jobs well. Why ever do liberals get accused of having simple, simple minds?

Go interactive with Pat the Politician #2. In the manner of the children's touch and feel classic, Pat the Bunny, this new twist on an old favorite let's kids get in touch -- literally -- with the candidates.

According to the catalog, kids can ... Pull Hillary's purse strings. Fluff John Edwards hair. Scratch John McCain's war rhetoric. And don't forget to wave bye-bye to George Bush. Pat the Politician #2 is perfect for every voter, Democrat or Republican. Features 20 interactive pages with 22 color illustrations.

Role-Play With Political Finger Puppets:

Are your little ones missing the finer points of all this political rhetoric? Act it out in words they understand with these presidential candidate finger puppets. There are five candidates in the set -- Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, Rudy Giuliani, George Bush in a dunce cap and, sadly, Fred Thompson. After you exhaust all three minutes of play with the Thompson puppet (mimicking in real time his failed campaign's light scheduling), turn Thompson into Romney with thick crop of black hair (just clip a patch from your child's Webkinz dog and stitch or glue as necessary). Only have white fur? Fine. He'll be Ted Kennedy. Just position him on your thumb so he can be near his new BFF Barack, who is inspiring the rest of the toybox atop your index finger. Alternately, insert ball bearings into Thompson dolls face and play-act an angry John McCain.

Is your child more of an issues voter? Consider the hours of fun with the gay marriage finger puppets (two men, two women and a priest). Are you raising a security toddler? Then go for the five-man axis of evil "Terrorism" set.

So you're a childless cat lady but you read a parenting blog? No judgment here, we promise. And there's something for you and your much-neglected Fluffy too. Political Pet toys. A soft, safe chew toy for the light of your life. Choose from world leaders, presidential candidates and controversial filmmakers (that's Michael Moore, right?).

Go ahead and start watching the Florida returns. Enjoy all two hours of the debates in Los Angeles on Thursday. Tune into Hardball without guilt. That baby you hear crying? She doesn't need you. She's just interviewing fingerpuppet Hillary. And the swearing? Don't worry. That's her playing with post-Florida Rudy.

SPF 50 for Campaign Trail Burns

Madeline Holler — Mon, 28 Jan 2008 19:50:00 GMT

Political Nanny strongly suspects one of her GOP darlings will get severely burned in Florida on Tuesday. Which is why she is insisting Rudy Giuliani slather himself with a super-high SPF sunscreen before the state’s voters head out to cast their ballots. Rudy has spent all his time and most of his money on selling himself to Florida’s Republicans. But this fast cycle of primaries and caucuses makes those who have won nothing appear as if they’ll never win anything. (John Edwards, you might need to reapply the Coppertone, too.)

While we don’t like predictions, all the polls show Giuliani doing third place at best. It’ll be a shame if he doesn’t stay in long enough for his home state to weigh in on his candidacy, or other big states like California, who might be more sympathetic to his breaks with the party line (see: GOP stance on abortion).

Political Nanny’s Democratic candidates will be less vulnerable to blistering in Florida, since the state party was stripped of its delegates after scheduling primaries before February 5th. Ahhh, but the state may still be in play. Plenty of Democratic voters still cast ballots – Hillary Clinton is their supposed favorite. And Clinton is now talking about having the national party reinstate the delegates. Self-interested? Sure. But we expect nothing less!

Speaking of expectations and blazing hot election moments … wow! Did you hear Barack Obama’s victory speech in South Carolina? Political Nanny showed restraint -- just a few goose bumps during the English translation of the old migrant workers Spanish rallying cry: Si, se puede!/Yes, we can! And a quick melt when he thanked his wife and kids. But then, Obama went and brought up second shifts at the Duncan Donuts (minute 11:55). Duncan Donuts! No teacher should have to shovel cream-filled Munchkins in a decorative box to make ends meet! He's right! And he said it. He said a lot. Truthfully, Political Nanny wasn’t that moved by Obama’s Iowa victory speech. But seriously, you’d have to be a robot (or the coldest of Republicans) to not feel like he said something big, something really big, something Kennedy big Saturday night. Political Nanny isn't just talking about donuts. Obama mentioned other long forgotten notions, like Republicans who might "cross over." (Um, I thought crossing over was for Democrats, Joe Lieberman.) He mentioned black voters supporting a white candidate (ooooh, Bill ... Bill, Bill, Bill.) And ... and! He talked about Latinos and Asians and Native Americans who have got to be feeling left out of this historical year, which has focused mainly on black/white, woman/man, rich/poor, pro/con differences -- not the actual complex shades-of-gray country we live in as individuals.

Anyway, doesn't this election feel so darn big?

Of course, just like Florida, there are severe elements in the forecast for the Super Tuesday states. The rest of us election watchers would be wise to use caution, seek shelter in facts and votes, ignore probablies and percentages, and slather up with whatever's left of Rudy’s Florida sunscreen. Because the only thing any of us do know, is that this year? You just never know.

Now Casting 'Election 2008: The Movie'

Madeline Holler — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 00:36:00 GMT

Eventually, the 2008 Election is going to make a great epic movie. Sure, we don't yet know the ending. And yeah, so far the story centers mostly on the campaign and surprise Iowa win for a bi-racial Senator, and a pretty decent tearful plot-twist, courtesy of the ambitious, conniving, first woman to do anything important in this country ... ever! There's also the tension building over a New Hampshire comeback for the aging Republican stalwart. Comic relief/hints of horror from the fundamentalist Christian with populist appeal threatening the hopes and dreams of a Morman businessman with daddy issues. There's the 9-11 Mayor, the stinking rich son of a South Carolina mill worker and a second-rate actor on a ubiquitous television franchise to squeeze in there too.

You couldn't write this stuff! But somebody will. Though it's a bit early to be drafting a script -- and hiring a script doctor to come in and punch up those debate scenes (let's be honest, Monday night was 10 minutes of rancor surrounded by 100 minutes of the usual) -- we can start thinking about other ways to get this project greenlighted. Help Political Nanny cast the lead roles:

Slate has made a solid case for Reese Witherspoon as Hillary Clinton in this very amusing video that cuts several Hillary moments with those of another Witherspoon role, Tracy Flick in the 1999 movie "Election." The anger at a lifelong ambition suddenly under threat. The singular focus on winning. The tears. (If it gets on your nerves the first time, go back to it later and watch it again. Eventually, you'll love it.)

How about the rest?

For obvious physical reasons, Mike Huckabee should be played by Kevin Spacey. We're sure Spacey's already brushing up on Scripture, guitar chords and radical weightloss techniques in anticipation of this film (think Spacey will go fat suit or real weight-gain for background scenes as a tax-hiking governor of Arkansas?). It's so the role he was born for, not that Bobby Darin disaster he got a little too into a few years ago.

Fred Thompson could play himself. And he could play himself playing himself on Law & Order and it could get a little Being John Malkovich only with Southern aphorisms and lots of scheduled naps.

Political Nanny feels like Mitt Romney could be played by Tom Cruise (in lifts), what with them both being Scientologists ... or Mormons ... or whatever. Same difference. If Cruise refuses the height-enhancing orthotics, his hair could land him the Edwards role, which leaves Romney open for ... suggestions? A young Charlton Heston?

Joe Biden's role would be too small for the talents of Alec Baldwin, but we'd like to see him do it anyway. The two come so easily unhinged that we feel, just like the real Biden, Baldwin will steal the few scenes he's actually in.

Only Tommy Lee Jones and a box of jawbreaker candy could do the role of John McCain any justice. Which leaves Robert Duvall to play Rudy Giuliani (mmmhmmm, good one, huh?! And we know Duvall would say yes!). But Chris Dodd? We'll have to have open casting for him unless you've got some ideas.

Barack Obama has said he'd like Denzel Washington to play him in the movies but thinks his ears make Will Smith a better fit. Fine, but Political Nanny likes any excuse to watch Denzel so he's got her vote.

Duncan Hunter, Tom Tancredo, and Mike Gravel can be played by extras. After all, this film's got a budget.

And Dennis Kucinich. Dennis, Dennis, Dennis. Now, keep an open mind on this one. Political Nanny sees Mike Myers channeling a little Austin Powers channeling the comeback role of a lifetime. Think it'll work? (Julianne Moore gets to be the hot Mrs.K!)

Political Nanny also hears Ralph Nader is thinking about getting in the race. Who's going to play him? Jim Carey? John Turturro? Alan Alda? The talented and versatile Fred Thompson? Fred's got time to rehearse and he'll be available since, well, he called it quits Tuesday and will only appear in the first 20 minutes of this politico-historical epic.

That leaves squeaky Ron Paul, sweet Bill Richardson and gasbag Chris Matthews, who would no doubt want to play himself. Any suggestions? We're looking for an Oscars sweep.

Photo: Wonkette.com

Hillary: Send Me to Prison

Madeline Holler — Wed, 16 Jan 2008 19:33:00 GMT

Hillary Clinton said in an interview that her dream would be to compete on America's Next Top Model. She admits, though, she wouldn't have much of a chance. Now, Political Nanny doesn't like to traffic in the superficial, but, since Hillary brought it up? Yeah, not a chance.

However, the former first lady and presidential hopeful thinks she could go all the way as a contestant on Dancing With the Stars, and we don't see why not. Especially, as she says, if she gets one of the really good pros. (Oh, but not if Barack Obama is one of her competitors. In that competition? He'd be ready to lead his rhumba partner on Day 1.)

Clinton tackled these and other difficult topics with Tyra Banks earlier this week in a taping for Bank's eponymous talk show. Her interview airs Friday (check for local times ... or check in with Political Nanny, who vows to set up the Political Nanny Cam and bring the video to you.)

Other interesting tidbits: Clinton likened the White House to a prison. Some outtakes (thanks L.A. Times Top of the Ticket):

"Do you ever get lonely?" Banks asked the New York senator. "Do you ever sit in your room by yourself sometimes and just feel alone?"....

"I don't feel lonely," Clinton said. "But I do feel sometimes isolated. Because when you are in these positions that I have been in, it can be very isolating. It is one of the reasons I put on the dark glasses and the baseball cap and go out of the White House. President Harry Truman once said that the White House was like the crown jewel of the American penal system because you can feel confined."

The two also talked about what Bill Clinton should be called if he winds up the First Spouse, and whether she -- remember, future Dancing with the Stars hopeful -- does hip hop or knows the Soulja Boy or the Spongebob dance.

Well what did you expect? Oprah?

Elsewhere on Political Nanny's Playground ...

Club Dem Refuses Race Bait, One Calls Bush 'Pathetic', and Island Survival Strategies

The Democratic candidates clobbered not each other in the debates last night but two of the reps from the media. Brian Williams and Tim Russert tried hard to keep racial discord alive in their early round of questions for Clinton and Obama. But the candidates refused to be baited, bragged on the Democratic party, blah, blah. They defended each other, for example, against how their statements had been reported in the media (Barack on Russert's claim that last night's pledge to take troops out of Iraq was a change from earlier refusals to make such a pledge). They offered excuses for insinuating racism and claims of misusing historic icons being brought up in the first place. (Clinton: “We both have exuberant and sometimes uncontrollable supporters ...”)

Sure, the debate was something of a snoozer (though Political Nanny perked up when Hillary Clinton described Bush, on his trip to Saudi Arabia, as "pathetic" and "begging for lower oil prices.") The questions got so banal that toward the end candidates were asked their strengths and weaknesses. Strengths and weaknesses? Even a teenager looking for work at a video store knows how to answer that one. "I refuse to stop working until the job is done" (Clinton gave her version of that) ... I've been told I'm committed to a fault!" (Edward's take on this "weakness" classic.) Political Nanny was fully expecting them to have to tell Russert the one item they'd like to have with them if they were ever stranded on a deserted island. (A book on shipbuilding, of course!) Mercifully, there was a commercial break.

Michigan

Mitt Romney stays in the GOP race, winning 39 percent of the Republican vote in his boyhood state of Michigan. Headlines 'round the nation say this win, Romney's first, and yet another candidate with a first-place finish in these early states, "scrambles the GOP field." McCain came in second with 30 percent of the vote. Political Nanny's glad these candidates will push on for more of the statewide contests.

Also in Michigan, Hillary, the only of the three frontrunners whose name appeared on the ballot, got 55 percent of the Democratic vote. Uncommitted (code for Edwards or Obama) got 40 percent.

Iowans Play Favorites. Political Nanny Still Doesn't

Madeline Holler — Fri, 04 Jan 2008 05:34:00 GMT

Well, that was that. The candidates stepped out and tested the cold, cold waters of voter approval last night in Iowa. Political Nanny stood at the side, waiting with towels and hot drinks and, for some, a soft hankie to cry in.

Her boys Mike Huckabee and Barack Obama swam confidently to shore, winning their parties' races by about 9 percentage points each. Obama won most of the female vote and most of the younger voters' support too.

Her tough fighters Hillary Clinton and John Edwards, and recently challenged Mitt Romney, flapped their arms and gasped and fought their way to finish in respectable positions and not terribly far behind the winners. Each of them vowed to continue fighting. Each of them is ready to regroup and start again. In five days. Whew!

But quite a few of Political Nanny's babes sank to the bottom. Fred Thompson, John McCain, and Ron Paul made it to the double digits. Joe Biden, Rudy Giuliani and Bill Richardson, and especially Duncan Hunter and Chris Dodd, wellllll, they did their best. But it wasn't great. In fact, Political Nanny will spend the day packing up Chris's bag, gathering his toys, taking down his pretty pictures, and telling him good-bye. He has decided he won't be needing Political Nanny's care any longer. His little friend Joe Biden -- God, remember how hard it was to tell them apart? -- is leaving Political Nanny too.

Down to 13 monkeys jumping on the bed. Time to pack for New Hampshire.

Photo: MSNBC.com

Election Milestone: Candidates Take First Steps In Iowa (Quick, Get the Camera!)

Madeline Holler — Thu, 03 Jan 2008 15:38:00 GMT

Political Nanny is sitting on pins and needles, at once excited, deliriously proud of and terrified for her candidates. Today, the 15 reach such an important milestone: the Iowa caucuses. They look so grown up! It seems like just yesterday ...! It's all happening so fast (well, not really.)

As the unruly group of them toddles around on stages, grabbing at microphones, saying "cheese" for the camera, and slobbering all over Iowans one last time in hopes of charming each and every one of these Midwesterners to go out tonight and be counted at the caucus (and chances are, they won't), Political Nanny is watching and trying to remember Iowa is not the final word. It's the first, only the first. We caregivers -- those of us experienced with cadidate-children -- know that the early walker in Iowa will not acurrately predict who gets to sit in the White House highchair. (Remember little guy Dick Gephardt?) See, there's time to catch up.

In the meantime, Political Nanny will be watching her babes today as they smile and shake hands and talk pretty and learn their numbers (polls and precinct percentages are the new flashcards!). She'll be watching tonight as the reports come in. Tomorrow, she'll usher the remaining ones over to New Hampshire for primaries there next week.

Those little buggers never could sit still.

Guess Who Ralph Nader Just Endorsed!

Madeline Holler — Tue, 01 Jan 2008 17:33:00 GMT

Who cares what the governor of New Hampshire thinks, right? Or the editor of Iowa's largest daily. Or, sorry to say, Sean Penn. Political Nanny listens to Political Nanny when it comes to who she'll vote for in the primaries.

Endorsements, with a couple of exceptions, just haven't been that interesting. Until now ...

Public citizen, consumer advocate, sometimes presidential candidate, one-time election spoiler, and Babble "Timeout" subject Ralph Nader made an endorsement, just in time for the Iowa caucuses. He's throwing his support to John Edwards.

We're no experts, so who knows whether Ralph is a good or bad playmate for John. But Political Nanny adores Ralph and respects his opinion. His support feels like a gut-check: she's long suspected John really means what he says and contrarians like Ralph are the first to smell the BS, yet he thinks John, for the most part, is the real deal.

From Politico:

Nader said he has watched Edwards from afar and sees his more pugilistic brand of populism as a "glimmer of hope."

"It's the only time I've heard a Democrat talk that way in a long time," Nader said, acknowledging what was, for him, a rare moment of praise for a Democratic leader.

"Iowa should decide which candidate stands for us," he added. "Edwards is at least highlighting day after day that the issue is who controls our country, big business or the people."

Not the most unflinching of endorsements -- indeed, he's used the endorsement mostly as a way to criticize Hillary for being too Republican. But what's notable is that it's not himself that he's endorsing. Can we assume he won't be making a bid? Or does that depend on whether John Edwards gets the Democratic nomination?

In any case, Political Nanny is excited that Ralph Nader has come out to play.

Candidates, Political Nanny Loves You. Now Change!

Madeline Holler — Tue, 01 Jan 2008 00:00:00 GMT

Over the past three months, Political Nanny has grown to love her lot of disagreeable, argumentative, name-calling, cackling, power-praying little presidential candidates. They're approaching the first of many back-to-back primary election milestones -- only three days until Iowa! -- but have already blossomed into tough and sturdy and, how shall we put this, flexible campaigners.

But could they be better? Oh, couldn't we all. In the spirit of starting anew, Political Nanny has made some resolutions for the campaigning men and woman of 2008.

Over at the Democrats' favorite playground ...

Barack Obama: resolve to inspire (again … and, alone!). What happened to the guy who swept us all off of our feet nearly four years ago? This sparkling source of hope has gotten dull from so much positioning and polling and over-wrought handling. Get back to the basics -- make change feel possible! Make it feel inevitable! If the old caucusing biddies in Iowa (or New Hampshire or South Carolina) weren’t going to vote for you months ago, they’re not going to vote for you now. Indeed, one person can change the world. We just don't want Oprah to think it's her!

Hillary Clinton: tear down that wall! This distance you keep from the voting public reminds us of a certain guy president and no, we’re especially not talking about your husband! So let us in. Let us ask questions – any question! Not pre-approved ones! Trust us! We’ll do the right thing! Trust yourself! You've got the answers!

Joe Biden: Keep on keeping on. You know everything, you really do. You probably even know you don’t have a chance to win. But the candidates need you – America needs you. In government and in this campaign. You turn meta-answers into concrete plans, Joe. You say what we need to hear, not what we want to hear.

Chris Dodd: Be (even more) like Joe. With two of you, oh, how the front-runners won’t get away with pandering to the polls!

John Edwards: John, sweetheart, listen. You have got to expand your message to the middle and upper middle class (who look more like the lower- and middle-class you're talking about, everyday). Here's the deal: the mortgage industry is handing you talking points for these people who, to be honest, you might sorta be alienanting with your anti-corporate talk (you see, that’s where they work!). But with housing, ohhhhh, housing. Just bring up housing, foreclosures, bubbles, all of it -- and they’re listening. They're listening to you.

Bill Richardson: Keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the vice presidential stars.

Dennis Kucinich: Don’t go changing to try to please Political Nanny. She loves you just the way you are.

Mike Gravel: Come here and give Political Nanny a hug, you silly guy.

Now back at Camp GOP ...

Rudy Giuliani: Rudy, Rudy, Rudy. So much to love. So much to loathe. Political Nanny would like you to be your own guy. She knows that Republicans often get bullied by big scary Christians who claim to be friends. But would real friends ask you to be someone you’re not?

John McCain: Resolve to stay tough. And be strong. You keep hope alive for conservatives who don't necessarily think the church and state are one and the same. Oh, and next time a supporter mentions The Bitch, show some sac, dear John, and don't be so quick to laugh.

Mike Huckabee: Michael! That's enough! You, my boy, are a man of faith. But you must also resolve to be a man of respect. If all you have to offer Americans are platitudes and religious references, please reconsider your leadership goals and run for president of the Southern Baptists. Because Political Nanny likes her America inclusive, cohesive and as plural as it can get.

Fred Thompson: Sit down, honey, let’s talk. Political Nanny thinks you don’t actually want to run for president. And you know what? That’s perfectly fine. No shame in “spending time with the family.” So, whenever you’re ready to call it quits, know that millions of others are ready for it too.

Duncan Hunter: Still more are ready to see you go, Duncan. So, Political Nanny would like to see even less of you in the new year, young man. You can use the extra down time for painting murals on your very special wall.

Mitt Romney: Political Nanny thinks you’re a good boy, Mitt, she really does. But you want your buddies to like you so much that you’ve changed your mind, mainly by closing it. You say such damaging things to millions of families in the U.S. and completely dismiss millions of others. Political Nanny wants to see you be the truest, most honest version of yourself in 2008.

Ron Paul: You're doing something right, Ron Paul. Look at all those people giving you money! But that doesn't make you perfect, not by any means. In the new year, Political Nanny would like you to work on (1) living in reality, (2) increasing your dosage of paranoia-tempering thorazine and (3) smiling.

And last but not least, a New Year's resolution for her GOP debate interloper and possible candidate (please, please, please) Alan Keyes: Just. Do. It.

Happy New Year, kids! And Happy New Year, voters! Let's resolve to get together everyday for a little election downtime with Political Nanny!

Nanny Cam: Sorry 'Bout That Satan Thing, Says Mike

Madeline Holler — Thu, 13 Dec 2007 00:37:00 GMT

Mike Huckabee apologized to Mitt Romney today for an explosive quote in an upcoming New York Times Magazine feature on him. In it, according to early reports, he says Mormons think Jesus is Satan. Which has outraged everyone, even non-believers, even Political Nanny. (She can't wait to read the article!)

But today, after the GOP debates (where Romney came across, finally, as very presidential) and in front of a small group of gathered Iowans, Huckabee apologized. Kind of. In that blame the reporter kind of way. In that talk-around-the-issue way. He says he didn't mean it. In his jokey, self-depracating and vague way. Something Political Nanny used to love about him, but now makes her feel dirty.

Thank you, Mike, sit down.

(From Atlantic PoliBlog)

We Have a New Friend! Alan Keyes Shows Up For Playtime

Madeline Holler — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 20:19:00 GMT

Imagine Political Nanny's surprise -- her delight and surprise -- when the editor of the Des Moines Register and moderator of today's GOP debate introduced Alan Keyes along with all the other well-known candidates in the GOP race. Political Nanny squealed and hugged herself when she saw him. She knows you did too!

Oh, Alan Keyes is so much fun. So serious. So mad. So unhinged. So fun.

Political Nanny enjoyed Alan Keyes in his 2000 bid for president. And even more in that suuuuuper-losing battle in 2004 when Republican Jack Ryan was brought down by his ex-wife in a salacious sex scandal that forced him to withdraw from the Illinois Senate race. Keyes filled in last minute for the GOP in an effort to keep our playgroup friend Barack Obama from winning national office unopposed. Keyes lost in a landslide but was a blast to listen to. He probably handed Obama more votes than if Ryan would have stayed in the race. Obama, as we all know, became the new big deal for Democrats that year.

And the rest is history!

Oh, Political Nanny hopes you'll come out to play with us a bunch this year, Alan Keyes ... outrageous, indignant Ambassador Alan Keyes.

Two Extra Cookies: Whoever Made This Video

Madeline Holler — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 20:06:00 GMT

Thank you to DailyKos for pointing us to this video. It comes at a time when Political Nanny has been feeling particularly let down by her little funny guy Mike.

While Political Nanny would like to keep a certain level of decorum among her candidates, she’s not above making fun of them when they’re out of the room. Quick. Mike’s on the potty.

Two Minutes in the Naughty Chair: Huckabee … Because He Stopped Being Fun

Madeline Holler — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 15:55:00 GMT

Back when he was just a formerly obese, bass-playing blip on the election radar, it was easy for Political Nanny to like Mike Huckabee. Not for president of course, but for a bit of levity in this way to serious, overly polished, super-handled stage-show of the elections. He was sunny in a crowd of frightened faces. He was at ease despite the other candidates’ podium-pounding defensiveness and anger.

Overnight he got popular. Now he’s a contender. And we’re finding out stuff about him that leaves Political Nanny feeling a tad icky toward her funny boy Mike.

Flashback to the ‘90s, which were apparently his heady days of prejudice and ignorance:

He blamed disastrous weather, school rampages and other unpredictable destruction on "the winds of spiritual change in a nation that has forgotten its God." (Thanks to Pandagon for the link)

In explaining why he wanted to be governor of Arkansas, a state we can only presume promises to look after citizens of all creeds:

"I didn't get into politics because I thought government had a better answer. I got into politics because I knew government didn't have the real answers, that the real answers lie in accepting Jesus Christ into our lives."

We’ve all heard how he wanted to quarantine AIDS sufferers and refuses to renounce these past opinions.

Or offer an apology for releasing a rapist, who went on to attack again.

The latest and most alarming of all this is his or his faith’s (one and the same?) regard for women and their roles in family life (Thanks to DailyKos for this):

In August of 1998, Huckabee was one of 131 signatories to a full page USA Today Ad which declared: "I affirm the statement on the family issued by the 1998 Southern Baptist Convention." What was in the family statement from the SBC? "A wife is to submit herself graciously to the servant leadership of her husband even as the church willingly submits to the headship of Christ."

The ad Huckabee signed specifically said of the SBC family statement: "You are right because you called wives to graciously submit to their husband's sacrificial leadership."

But it's not just the missteps of earlier times. Let's flash-forward to yesterday:

He’s attacking Romney’s religion in just the language one might use to address uninformed Evangelicals. Going after someone’s particular brand of religion – um, as a Southern Baptist minister! -- is not only desperate, it’s really, really ugly. Even Political Nanny recognizes this and she’s already sick of candidates on both sides who pander hard to the creationist, anti-abortion, “traditional marriage” faithful.

Political Nanny would prefer that Mike H. sit in the Naughty Chair all afternoon, because he has a lot to think about. But he has to get to the final GOP debate before the Iowa caucuses. She’s hoping to see him squirm.

It's Not a Toy: Please Take Away GOP's Cell Phones

Madeline Holler — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 20:46:00 GMT

Political Nanny rolled her eyes during Giuliani's short-lived gimmicky phase of taking phone calls from his wife at public-speaking events. But this well-timed phone call at a 2004 GOP fundraiser to Mike Huckabee -- from God -- just makes her cringe. Would it be too draconian to insist the GOP hand over their cell phones? Because Political Nanny is dreading the moment when Fred Thompson takes a call from Sam Waterston while making the primary rounds in California.

In any case, here's Huckabee's chat with the Lord Almighty. (Thanks to ThinkProgress via Huffington Post for digging it up.)

Out of the Mouths of Candidates

Madeline Holler — Fri, 23 Nov 2007 19:22:00 GMT

Can you really say this with a straight face?

From TPM Election Central:

Rudy Giuliani said in an interview with the Weekly Standard that he voted for McGovern, but actually preferred Nixon.

"'I had traditionally been a Democrat," Giuliani told me in a recent interview in Las Vegas. "It was almost like a reflex mode. I actually remember saying to myself, 'If I was a person really deciding who should be president right now, I'd probably vote for Nixon, because I think the country would be safer with Nixon.'"

The magazine goes on to question Giuliani's party switch the GOP in 1980 as a less ideological move and more career strategy and positioning for a Reagan administration appointment.

Oh, the challenge of explaining the past. Political Nanny sees nothing wrong with changing one's mind, but she prefers a more straightforward explanation.

Rudy, Fred and Johnny Happy to Kiss Your Boo-Boos

Madeline Holler — Tue, 20 Nov 2007 21:21:00 GMT

Three of the top GOP candidates have proposed healthcare plans that wouldn’t even cover their own cancer-surviving asses.

The LA Times looked at research on the proposed healthcare plans of Fred Thompson, a lymphoma survivor, Rudy Giuliani, who battled prostate cancer, and John McCain, who beat melanoma. None of these guys would be guaranteed coverage by their own plans. That is, if they needed their own plans for coverage, which, don’t worry, none of them does.

The market-based GOP plans' weakness, according to researchers comparing the proposals, is that they rely on the private market, which loses money on cancer patients’ and their expensive treatments.

One policy researcher tested 22 insurance companies to determine whether any would cover a hypothetical breast cancer survivor five years after successful treatment.

“Eleven companies said they would deny coverage, and six said they would issue a policy at standard rates. One company said it would charge double the usual premium. Another said it would issue a policy but exclude future cancer treatment. Three insurers did not respond.”

An expert insider said most companies wouldn’t consider a cancer survivor for 10 years and would only issue a policy at a higher premium.

"For example, a person treated for a small, localized melanoma could be covered after five years at a higher premium. But if the tumor were larger or deeper, that person would have to wait 10 years. For prostate cancer, a man with a less severe form of the disease could be covered after five years of being cancer-free, at a 40% higher premium.”

Political Nanny is fairly certain a tax break couldn’t begin to make up for that. What's left? A boo-boo kiss? Spiderman Band-Aids?

Squirrly Political Kid's Lit Subtle as a Sledgehammer

Madeline Holler — Tue, 20 Nov 2007 17:23:00 GMT

Hold on a moment while Political Nanny cringes.

There. Political Nanny just read a few pages of a children’s book “Why Mommy is a Democrat” and she feels as if she's been unintentionally bludgeoned by a well-meaning but terribly clutzy political propagandist.

No doubt the author’s intentions are good – a kid-friendly way for parents to discuss their values with the offspring. (A daddy version is due out this month.) But the tone is so smug, the illustrations so over-the-top, and the claims so absolute, it reads more like a spoof on liberal hippies.

The “story” involves a mommy squirrel over-generalizing about the absolute values of a Democrat, the party’s generosity and its members' sense of fair play. We have Democratic squirrels sharing (a real lefty curmudgeon might point out that, indeed, the kiddie Democrat squirrels are sharing WITH EACH OTHER and not with the homeless guy in the background) …

We are reminded the party isn’t soft on safety (though the danger in the picture is a charging elephant. Subtle, huh?).

And we see the author’s wishful thinking when Squirrel Mama explains a Democrat’s belief in accessible and affordable education for all. (What? Is Mama Squirrel homeschooling?)

Political Nanny is a big fan of parents talking to their children about values and politics. Tidy moral stories are fine too. But pounding their delicate little heads with this weapons-grade sledgehammer is manipulative, messy and a no-no.

Nanny Cam: Like a Skilled Martial Arts Kick, We Didn’t See This Endorsement Coming

Madeline Holler — Tue, 20 Nov 2007 12:04:00 GMT

Political Nanny has zero confidence that Mike Huckabee will receive the Republican nomination, much less win the general election. Still, she’s fascinated by the guy.

He’s a former fatty trying to win THE popularity contest, where looks play a huge part in voter appeal (there, Giuliani, Kucinich and Richardson, are screwed too). Huckabee also has a surprisingly entertaining sense of humor for a man whose stance on important issues is quite the opposite of Political Nanny’s. And then this new “God is green” bandwagon lots of Christian conservatives are hopping on, including ecclesiastical Huckabee himself. You've gotta love science deniers counting on science (no, wait, you don't gotta love that).

As an experienced campaign watcher, Political Nanny knows candidate Huckabee won't amount to anything and that deep down he’s a brat. So long as he's harmless now, she finds him adorable.

And somehow this recent public endorsement by an irrelevant former badass just ads to the candidate’s charm. Chuck Norris (if you’re not sure who he is, ask your dad) has come out in favor of Huckabee and even put together a little ad telling you why. And it's funny!

Oh, Political Nanny is no fan of “Delta Force” and the rest of the Chuck Norris oeuvre. But linking the aging martial artist with the other Man From Hope (cue the angels) just gives Political Nanny the warm fuzzies for her country and its weird bedfellows all over again. (Of course, if Huckabee starts pulling ahead, Political Nanny will whip out her nunchucks and go mid-80s Norris all over this sentiment.)

Have a look:

Choose-Lifers Chose Fred

Madeline Holler — Wed, 14 Nov 2007 19:38:00 GMT

Single-issue conservative voters got their pro-life marching orders yesterday when the National Right to Life Committee announced its endorsement of Fred Thompson for president.

What put Thompson over the top for this once-influential-but-we’ll-have-to-see-now special interest group? Was it his long-standing opposition to abortion? Not exactly. While Thompson consistently voted against abortion rights as a Senator, he also consistently put in long work days as a lobbyist on behalf of abortion rights for the National Family Planning and Reproductive Health Association.

Nevermind these inconsistencies, he says, because his "heart is now fully engaged" with his head, ever since (hold on to your heartstrings) he saw a sonogram of the fetus that is now his 4-year-old daughter (cue daughter to run up on stage). No word on whether voters can ignore all his other actions/votes/opinions/experiences pre-dating the young girl's conception.

What's extra interesting is that Thompson is a state’s rights man and has said he doesn’t favor a constitutional amendment banning abortion in the United States. Which is something the group that just endorsed him has worked hard for for decades.

So why didn’t the NRLC just go with someone like Huckabee, whose views are quite in alignment with the group’s goals to ban all abortion everywhere? The group has gotten used to having a seat at the national policy table and in their view, Thompson’s the most electable conservative of those who, like Romney and McCain, have had a change of their unstopped beating hearts.

Independent Considers Joining the Race (and We’re Not Talking About Nader)

Madeline Holler — Thu, 08 Nov 2007 19:27:00 GMT

Make room in the sandbox, kids, because there’s another rich white guy who's thinking about joining the race.

Though New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg brushes off talk of a run for the White House, his aides have been looking at what it might take for him to launch a bid as an independent. Which means he's thinking about it. Billionaire Bloomberg could do it too, since he's loaded and could easily finance his own campaign in this “billion dollar” presidential election.

There’s speculation that if he were to run, he’d wait until after the March primaries in Texas to make the decision/announcement. He’d have to get on the ballot in all 50 states, but Ross Perot did it in four months, so why couldn’t he?

Some speculate that he'd be an appealing centrist candidate for those in the South, particularly if the general election were between the other New Yorkers, Clinton and Giuliani.

What do you think? The more the merrier? Can we survive yet another election with an Independent candidate skimming votes from one side or the other? What's Bloomberg's take on family issues? New Yorkers, we're asking you!