Meet the Fosters

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  • Not the end of the story

     

     

    Sometimes after you've poured yourself into a thing and there isn't much left to do or say, it's time to move on.  I wish I could say that that were the case with Babble.  I am sad today because this is our last post.  I feel like I had so much more to say about what is happening in our lives and all that is about to happen to our slightly different family.  I hadn't intended to end this experience even if and when our wonderful foster son leaves us.  There will always be other children in this house of ours--we could never give up on being dads.  I think it is a part of who we are now.  Even now I am listening to the little man squeal in delight as Darrow is giving him a Saturday morning bath. 

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  • I'm going to put on a diaper and cry

     

     

    I don't know how to express this without it sounding a little weird, but here goes.  I am needy sometimes.  No, that's not the weird part.  And sometimes I want to be cradled and comforted and catered to.  It's true, I would sometimes just like to put on a diaper and cry about everything that I want and maybe just be a baby for a while. 

     

    "No, I don't want to eat my cereal and no I don't want any juice and no there is nothing you can do to get me to stop crying but I want you to continue to try." 

     

    I have been through a lot lately and I don't have to be rational, logic or even adult.  I would be happy if someone would just pick me up, put their arms around me and rock me for a while.  Okay, so that is the weird part.  Did I tell you that I have been through a lot lately?

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  • The Flow

     

     

    September 12, 2001, Washington, D.C.

     

    The planes had stopped crashing to the ground, the buildings had stopped coming down, the emergency, the urgency, the oh my God help us the sky is falling on us, had stopped for the moment.  People began to move about stunned by the events of the day before.  I was at work because we were told that the government would not shut down.  I was in front of a computer screen but really I was somewhere else for most of September 12.  I don't remember what I did all day long.  On the Metro going home it was quiet, not a word, no one dared, no one could bring themselves to break the silence.  I sat at home-just me and Mika.  She provided me comfort until I got stuck to the television screen and didn't know how to unhook from the footage that they kept showing over and over.  I had the sense that day that I was swirling around an open drain and I didn't know how to stop from being sucked down into it. 

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  • Baby Stroller as Battering Ram

     

     

    She hit me with it.  Standing there in a metro car, all of the sudden she wanted to maneuver and my shin was there and well, oh well.  There was the sleeping three or four year old sitting on one side of the Maclaren and an infant on the other side.  It was one of those twin strollers, wide but with only one wheel in the front, looking something like a stroller destined for the back country.  Everyone seems to have them these days.  I wondered if it gives parents the same sense of security that driving an SUV does. 

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  • Friday - a Much Needed Break

     There are times when I feel like we are in constant motion.  From sun-up until sun-down, we are either doing or on our way to doing. Weekdays are when I feel this way the most.  Saturdays and Sundays are their own special brand of Do Do Do!...Go Go Go!

     

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  • The Sharing of Waffles

    Back on October 17th, when Juan got the call from a social services worker about Ty – when Juan then called me at work to get my take– when I said yes and committed to being a father for the duration, I didn’t really know what I was getting myself into.  Sure, I knew that my life was about to change but only in a general I’m-going-to-be-a-dad sort of way.  I was willing, and as ready as I could be, to share my life with a child  In fact, I expected that there was going to be lots of sharing, and I was ok with that.

    Really.  I was.

    That is…until it was time for waffles.



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  • Thinking of Baby Number 2

     

    It's a little ironic that on one of my more sour and exhausted days, I write about wanting to add another child to the mix. 

    Since Ty discovered that the two little stubs below his waist actually took him places much faster if he stood on them, he has been relentlessly curious, determined, and stubborn.  He examines, tugs on, topples and deconstructs pretty much anything within his reach and line of sight.  This morning, I watched him careen around the living room, one compact bundle of energy and drool, stopping periodically to screech out something that could have been (if I didnt' know better) "don't you do that!", but it came out more like "dondooodooodat!"  He then moved on, full of purpose.  In a span of maybe two minutes, he had managed to investigate an outlet cover, the dog crate, a cabinet full of CDs, the doorknob to the sunroom, his activity table, and Mika's nose. I finally scooped him up and put him in his playpen.  All that motion might not tired him out, but I get beat just watching him.

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  • The Trip Home - Part II

    How do you stretch a three hour nap over a four and a half hour flight...you don't

     

     

     

    It has taken some time to get this down on paper.  I think in reflection it is easier to find some humor in it.  My predictions of an ill-fated plane ride home though dramatic, were pretty much on the mark.  But really, what's a vacation without a little traveling drama?  It makes the story a little more interesting for everyone.  I would much rather hear about the crazy taxi driver who almost killed everyone, or the sudden thunderstorm that threatened to wash our beach hut into the bay, then "we had a wonderful, relaxing time." 

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  • Cry Baby

     


     

    Crying.

     


     

     

    I hate to cry.
     

    Hate.

     

    My son cries at the drop of a hat.  Periodically I notice tears on his face and remember that just 30 seconds ago he was trying to tell me something, some unfortunate thing I had done or failed to do for him: need food Da-da, need sleep, need diaper changing, need you to pick me up, don't need anything just felt like crying, Da-da. 

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  • A Week In The Life: Day 1 (The Rabbit Killing)

     

    I should set the stage and say that A Week In The Life (AWITL from now on) starts off with Ty not feeling so hot. He spent the weekend alternating between deep sleep (and lots of it) and a strange, almost giddy behavior.



    Despite his relatively happy disposition this weekend, it was clear that he wasn't feeling well.  Friday night was the worst. We went out to eat with some friends. Ty was sick at the restaurant and then two more times on the way to the car.   Saturday (above) he fared better and managed to hold down some fluids.  And Sunday, he seemed to be on the mend. Ty held down some french toast for breakfast, a couple of bottles, and some dry cereal. Late Sunday afternoon, he seemed to be getting worse, but then he perked up when one of our neighbors, who happens to be a physician's assistant, came by to check things out. We put him to bed Sunday night around 8pm and hoped that he was through the worst of whatever he was experiencing.  If not, one of us would need to take off work and get him to the doctor the next day.

     

    So that brings me to this morning...

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    Posted Apr 21 2008, 04:00 PM by TheFosters with | with 4 comment(s)
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  • Who are we?

     


     

    We are Darrow, Juan and T.  We are two Dads and a pre-toddler.  We are an interracial couple with a bi-racial baby and three hodge-podge breed big dogs.  We are as close to married as the law allows.  We are diaper changing, baby food flinging, bottle juggling newbie dads who sometimes trip up one another in our effort to care for our son.  We are a family like every family, but just a little different.  And yes, we are foster parents, sort of unwittingly, but fosters nonetheless. 

     

    We are fun and games dads of the silliest kind.  We have no problem making strange faces and odds noises in public in an effort to entertain our son.  We revel in his beautiful smile and his hearty, infectious laugh.  We cannot imagine our life without this amazing little boy.  That is why we also periodically turn to one another in tears, because as fosters we find ourselves from time-to-time in a fragile state, knowing that his future with us is uncertain.  So we live in the yin and the yang, the one side making the other side that much sweeter and poignant.  And if we write about happy, silliness one day and sound like we are drowning in our fears the next, we hope that if you choose to read our posts, you will forgive us for sounding a little crazy.  Sometimes that is the reality of the Fosters--welcome to our world.

    --D, J & T 



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About the Blogger

Meet the Fosters

Juan and Darrow in Baltimore

Juan, an analyst, and Darrow, an IT manager- turned-social worker, are a Maryland couple working to adopt a child through the foster care system. An amazing baby boy was placed with them in the fall of 2007. Follow their quest to become his parents here, and catch the first part of their story on Darrow and Juan's personal blog, The Daddy Diaries.

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