My niece M. is ten.
She is part of a twin set of nieces that I love and adore, and as of
their last birthday...appreciate ever so much more. I'm sitting at my desk adding more to a new
chapter, and I look over to see her changing GiGi's diaper. How awesome is that?! Pretty damn awesome. Sometimes it's hard to write from home when
you have a toddler getting into every single thing she isn't supposed to or
needing silly things like food, drink and a diaper change, but I find that
having these nieces around is a HUGE help.
I knew they were good, but it wasn’t until this winter vacation from school
that I realized just how good they were. Are.
They are so interested in making her happy that they just
automatically help her out when she makes the slightest noise. I'd feel like a jerk if I was always, always
begging them to do the things they do for her, but they just - do it.
All by themselves. It's
fascinating to me as a twenty-eight year old adult who is the youngest, by far,
to two sisters. I never had the
opportunity to care for someone younger than me because I was the youngest. The youngest daughter, sibling, granddaughter,
cousin, friend, employee (for the most part) you name the situation and I have
always been the youth in the group. So
it's weird to watch these pre-teens taking on such an automatic mothering
role. The twins have a younger sister
and that's where the majority of their caring comes from I would assume. Maybe it's just who they are, but I would bet
it's because they are big sisters.
(The cousins catering to GiGi. Literally. Do you see the inventive platter of Goldfish snacks?)
(One sang, one fed, and one kept her hydrated while decorating the big tree.)
I became an aunt when i was a sophomore in high school. I
loved being an aunt, but I mostly dressed up the baby and said “here you go” to
anyone standing close by when there was crying, pooping, etc. Love the baby – yes, care for the baby – no.
What does this mean?
It means that in my family, for me, being the youngest meant that I didn’t
have that nurturing role. As a parent,
things have changed and suddenly I’ve gone into this I-love-all-babies-and-I-want-to-hold-and-love-and-squeeze-them
hyperdrive, but as a ten year old kid I
wasn’t into helping out with little ones.
I have a good friend with kids a bit older than GiGi, but
mostly my girlfriends have kids who pretty close to the same age. My immediate family is all done with the
baby-having thing, and my cousins, etc seem to all be done as well. GiGi, as I’ve mentioned, has an older sister
on her dads side. So I have birthed
someone who will potentially lack that ability right? That ability to jump in and want to spend her
free time changing diapers, bathing a toddler, chasing crawling kids, refill sippy
cups, listening to screaming with a smile on her face? She already does quite a few things that I
do, so if you add in her age to our environment, you get the same kind of
situation I was in.
My two very closest friends have babes under six months old that
she spends a little time with on most weekends.
Her interest in them is the same level of interest I have in changing
the oil on my car, or mowing the lawn.
It’s about a level 2 out of 100 levels.
Sure, there is the occasional “maybe I should lick those?” look that
floats across her face when she grazes their toes, but that’s about it. She gets a horrified look when she attempts
to hold a hand or most often, brush it away.
She isn’t completely mean, just not that into them.
OF COURSE I’m over-thinking this, and I’m absolutely silly for
assuming that she will shy away from helping out with babies. My mind wanders though and sometimes it ends
up here. I guess it’s just birth order
curiosity times ten. Life order,
maybe? I thought about trying to get her into
dolls and showing her how fun it would be to pretend they were babies, but considering how I used to pretend MY
dolls were willed to me from a dying relative, and never born unto me… well we
might be in trouble.
