I wish I could say that I wasn’t interested in ‘Mommy Clubs’ but sadly, I am.  Maybe it’s because when I was sitting with my newborn in the bay area and all of my girlfriends were working and then heading out to live their own child free lives, I was there with cries for milk and poops.  At some point I think it’s only natural for us to gravitate towards other people who are in our situation. People who have children and spend their mornings sneaking through the house to see if they can be quiet enough to take a shower or brush their teeth without waking the sleeper.  

My first club experience involved terrible house music and people under 18.  Wait, wrong club.  I tried to join several mothers groups but most were showing as inactive for the past few months when I searched them online. My first actual club for mamas that I got to join was a seemingly sweet group that I found on meetup.com.  I was a member for a whole week or two until the organizer kicked me out for not answering enough of their polls and for having yet to attend a function. I’m sure if they would have emailed me first before kicking me out they would have known that right after I joined, GiGi was diagnosed as blind. When that happened, I didn’t give a shit about their ANYTHING bit my babe and of course I let them know that a few weeks later.  They, at that point, decided to let me back in.  I sucked up my ego and pride and went to a few outings and actually really liked the women.

Then we moved.

Upon my arrival to the slower parts of the world I thought joining another mothers group would be the ideal approach to making some friends in my new town with at least one thing in common.  I have tried to be a part of two groups here and one is very understanding of our therapy schedule and busy past few weeks in the hospital and out, and I am looking forward to hopefully being a part of. The other club I tried was one that I saw as an icon in the Babble Playground area of this site.  It looked hip and by  the mere site of an icon I had a glimmer of hope that some rockers or tattooed mamas were members of this little club.  I joined and alas, I was rejected.

I received an email from someone in the club saying that I was not invited to join because I was not living in the city but simply a neighbor to it.  I vented my frustration to this woman and got an odd response.  If I wanted to be a part of the club apparently I am supposed to explain how often I visit the city in which they are from and for what purpose.  Am I willing to drive there for a 2 hour playdate?

I’m sorry.  Excuse me? 

I really wish you could see my face right now.  Along with a lovely look of awe and curiosity is the face I make right before I’m about to explode with laughter.  Who the hell do some people think they are to demand itineraries from prospective members?  The last time I checked, a twenty minute drive was not far to travel for the benefit of enjoying the company of friends and giving my little one the opportunity to interact with others.

At what point did leading a mothers’ club turn into a power trip for some women?  I say *some* because I am quite sure there are groups out there who are fair and considerate. I however have not found a whole lot of them. Shouldnt this whole thing be as simple as getting together at a pulic location for coffee and  swingsets? I’m blown away that there are parents out there who are discriminating and petty and willing to teach that to their kids. When we take our children to the playground, aren’t we looking for them to get along with everyone the same and to welcome newcomers to the sandbox? Why, as mothers, aren’t we all doing the same at our own playground?

GiGi and I avoided all clubs today and worked on our dance routine instead...