Baby Proof?

knockedup — Mon, 01 Oct 2007 19:10:00 GMT

This weekend, we took the last class in our very full schedule of pre-baby courses: the safety class. We practiced infant CPR (important), and heard about car seat safety for the fifth time (important, but redundant). Car seats were mentioned in every class we took. Maybe, since my man, as a firefighter, is a certified car seat tech (after completing a week-long course - that's how long it takes to figure out car seats, people. No wonder an estimated 80% - 90% aren't installed correctly. Get yours installed by a car seat tech!), I was more annoyed with the frequent repeats of the car seat information than the other participants.

We also learned that drowning is bad, kitchens are death traps, and babies are tiny ticking time bombs just waiting for a chance to drink motor oil or throw themselves out of second-story windows. After the class, I'm considering how we can incorporate padded floors and walls in to our current home remodel, and live with water or electricity. We can line the walls with blow-up mattresses and fill the basement with foam squares, like those in the foam pit that we got to flip in to at gymnastics. Maybe we should all live in bouncy castles until our children are five. Since I am a big fan of warm showers and hot meals and insulated walls in the winter, that won't happen. So, now I'm left determining how to balance baby safety with modern conveniences, and my sanity.

"Baby proof" seems like a bad term. I'd like our house to be baby- and adult-friendly, not infused with an anti-baby force-field. Obviously that means knives should be kept out of reach, and the cleaning supplies formerly under the kitchen sink should be moved to a less-convenient-for-consumption-by-toddlers place.

Our 1920s house is only one floor, but there's a set of treacherous stairs to the basement to be gated off. Other than that, though, what do we need to do? Should we be padding all of the sharp edges? Actually, that might save me some bruises; black and blue marks sprinkle my shins from my many encounters with the coffee table, and I frequently hip-check counters and doorways. If the baby takes after me, there's a strong chance that he or she will be rather klutzy. Perhaps, instead of padding the house, we should just pad the baby - wrap it in foam blankets and bubble wrap, add a bike helmet, or just use hockey gear. I'm kidding. Kind of. Then there are other things to worry about: cabinet locks, outlet covers, toilet locks, bathtub faucet covers, ducks to measure bath temperature, first aid kits, antibacterial wipes and gel, pets that appear lazy and docile but might bite or scratch - and I haven't even started talking about lead paint.

For those of you who've already been through, or are in the midst, of making your house safe for your little ones, what are the baby-friendly house priorities? How many of the 11,328 baby safety products out there are actually useful? Should we just get a bubble, like John Travolta had in The Boy in the Plastic Bubble, and wrap it around the wee one until he or she is 18? How safe is safe enough?

Knocked Up : baby safety

Baby Proof?