As the baby kicks more, I feel like it's a real, live little person, with developing thoughts all its own - maybe not much more than "Hey! That's my hand." and "What the hell is that slimy thick cord sticking out of my gut?" but thoughts just the same. And, as it feels less like an "it" and more like an extremely close family member I've never met, I find myself thinking more and more about what and who this baby will be.
This weekend, my mom gave me my baby book, including in it letters she'd written on my first, second, and third birthdays about my developing personality, favorite things, and growth. Here are a few of the highlights:
Age One:
"You were born easy-going and good natured." Hopefully, people still think of me that way, at least most of the time.
"Your hair keeps growing, but only in the back." Luckily, my hair grows all over my head now. For a time, my folks called me Ben Franklin, due to the large hair-free spot in the middle of my noggin. I think the pink bow was supposed to distract from the bald spot.
"You really show your feelings, and usually they are happy ones." Twenty-nine years later, I'm still incredibly transparent.
Age Two:
The bullheaded streak starts to show: "You are very particular about which glass youd rink out of, and ask for the "blue" one, meaning any other color than the first one I showed you."
"You are definitley an Oz, our nickname for you. We loved the name Astrid...the name of one of my college roommates, who was very lively. She smiled and laughed a lot and did crazy things, and she also had some very strong opinions. And you are much like her in those ways." Did the name feed the personality, I wonder?
Age Three:
Big embarrassing moment (thanks, Mom!): "You seem to be more conscious of gender than your brother was...who has a penis and who doesn't and what size it is. So you have caused a lot of laughs over your ratings of the sizes of all of our friends' boy babies' anatomies." Luckily, I have outgrown public commentary related to the penis.
And so, as I read through my mom's detailed notes in my baby book, I wonder, will this baby be easygoing and cheerful, or will it be serious and contemplative, or fussy and full of baby angst? Will he/she, regardless of gender, love to ride bikes as much as his/her daddy does, and tumbling down muddy hills at high speeds? Talk a bit too much about private parts? Will he/she devour books - perhaps literally gumming them to pieces at first? Have an enormous head and a small body (my head was in the 85th percentile for size, while my body was stuck in the 5th percentile for height and weight). I think more about our baby-to-be's personality and likes and dislikes than hair or eye color. Given its parents, I'll be shocked if the babe doesn't have something of a stubborn streak. The the rest, for now, will remain a mystery.
