We've entered the final countdown. As of yesterday, there was just a month left until due date day - November 3. Just a month left to deal with my shrunken stomach's rebellion against food, aching back, and the inability to bend down without getting a horrid squashed feeling and tightness in my chest. I should be celebrating - soon, I'll be able to drink wine and run again! But, it's also just a month to finish the remodel of our house, rearrange and unpack our things, set up the baby's room (or at least the crib in our room), get an oil change, clean the car, clean the house, narrow down our name choices.....I'm going to stop with the list now, because if I extend it much more, the tears building up in my eyes will start to pour down my cheeks.
This last phase of pregnancy is the cry baby phrase. I teared up because I really, really wanted Casey to win on Top Chef and she just didn't live up to her full potential with her final dishes; I cried because I really wanted dinner and it was just taking far too long to cook; my eyes filled up when the receptionist at work announced she's leaving to become a flight attendant; I came close to sobbing over the roofers' delayed work on our house; pictures of naked babies and diaper commercials bring me close to blubbering.
I guess, when the books say you produce more bodily fluids during pregnancy, they mean all the fluids. Good thing I'm drinking lots of water. I'd show you a picture of my teary self, but posting my red, bloated face for all the world to see would probably just make me cry more. I feel like a crazed, emotional mess, and I can only imagine what the people who see me every day think - if I can't even handle waiting for an extra hour for dinner, how will I be able to handle a newborn? Oh my lord, now I've gotten myself crying again. Isn't there some kind of hormonal off switch, other than giving birth?
Since there's a strong possibility that the doctor is going to induce me the week before my due date (more on that later, once I get the details down), I feel pretty confident that the hormones will diminish - or at least shift into whatever new and nutty form they take in the postpartum phase - in less than a month. And, on the happy-crying side, it's also less than a month until we meet our baby, hold him or her, see who's been rolling and thumping around inside of me, fill our noses with that baby smell, and cover his or her head with kisses. Sorry if I got a little gushy there - I'm still crying.
Until November 3rd (or earlier), I'll just have to invest in Kleenex.
