FameCrawler : shot gun wedding

Nick Cannon: Mariah's Gonna Have My Babies

HerBadMother — Wed, 14 May 2008 15:20:00 GMT

Nick Cannon wants to knock up Mariah Carey. Because, you know, he "loves her more than any other girl."

Which I think is a pretty good reason to sperminate someone. If you love all the other girls less, then she's the one, right? I mean, why would you want to have babies with one of the girls that you don't love the most?

Unless, of course, what his brother meant - and his brother, obviously a grammarian, was the source of the above quote - was that Nick Cannon is the girl who loves Mariah Carey the most. In which case, spermination might be a problem.

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Mariah Carey IS Going To Have A Baby

Sassy Smith — Sat, 10 May 2008 19:08:00 GMT

Remember a couple of weeks ago Mariah Carey said she wasn't going to have kids because she didn't want to feel violated and that you have to try and stay pretty - because as we moms know, you get clobbered with a big ugly stick once you have a baby. Anyway, that's all changed now that Mariah is married. There's baby news!

Mariah and Nick Cannon were married 5 minutes after they met 10 minutes ago - okay slight exaggeration but not by much. One minute the pop diva is single, the next she's married, tattooed with Mrs. Cannon (oh better hope they're forever and ever) on her neck and having his baby - or about to.

Here's what Mariah told PEOPLE:

Nick on their whirlwind affair: “It was a love-at-first-sight thing. Since we’ve been together, we’ve been inseparable.”

Mariah on how friends knew they were getting serious: “One thing (few people) knew was we got tattoos a few weeks earlier. So anyone who saw my (”Mrs. Cannon”) tattoo wasn’t surprised. To me rings are special and exciting, but tattoos mean more than anything. They’re forever and ever.”

Nick on their connection: “From the first time we sat down to discuss the video at the Beverly Hills Hotel, we connected. … I was able to be myself with her. We are both eternally 12 years old.”

Mariah on plans to have kids: “It’s part of the whole purpose of getting married. I’d just want our children to have the best childhood and upbringing they possibly could.”

All seems a bit rushed to me. This is sort of telling: "We are both eternally 12 years old." Best wait to have kids then!

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Ashlee Simpson: Pregnant?

HerBadMother — Sat, 12 Apr 2008 14:09:00 GMT

Are Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz getting married because she's pregnant? I mean, it wouldn't be the first time that celebs have rushed to the altar because of spermination issues, but then again, this kind of rumor really is pretty standard with any celebrity marriage. The pregnancy rumors on this one started (and stopped, and started again) before the engagement was even confirmed. And, also, Beyonce anyone?

That said, Ashlee's rep was a bit dodgy in commenting on the rumor. "No comment" really just sounds like "yes, of course, but I'm not allowed to say." The only answer that carries any weight - and even then, not a tremendous amount of weight, given the number of pregnancy denials that issue out of Hollywood press offices - is NO.And if they can't say NO, what else are we to assume but YES?