Like life isn't hard enough for a teen with the perfect physical specimen of Demi Moore for a Mom, and Bruce "Action Movie Star" Willis as your Dad. Not to mention the mind-fuck of having that shaggy idiot Ashton Kutcher for your Stepdad. Now Rumer and her sisters have to deal with Bruce telling the world that he will kill their boyfriends if anything happens to one of them.
Oh sure, he's kidding around. But we all know that teenage boys are shitty drivers. Also clumsy oafs and big chickens. Imagine calling your best friend's mom after she broker her wrist in that fender bender when you were eighteen. Remember how bad that was? Now imagine having to call John McClane to tell him his daughter has a broken wrist. I can hear the boys whispering in the driveway, "Dude, she's okay looking and funny, but totally not worth the risk! She rides in your car!" "No way, you take her!"
Rumer, but you need pitch a big-assed "Dad, I hate you, you're so embarrassing!" fit and make him shut his pie hole about this. Unless you really do have a crush on Ashton, in which case you have a bigger problem because I remember your Mom in GI Jane, and she can still totally kick your ass.
