It always amazes me when parents (celebrity or not) give their babies weird names. Sure, people have the right to name their kid whatever the heck they want, but what about the rights of the baby? Not to say that everyone has to go with an old-fashioned, traditional name, but please, consider the future of your baby (they eventually grow up and could possibly smack you. Hard.) and what kind of teasing they’ll surely endure on the playground.
List after the jump!
These are in no particular order of weirdness, however, some take the cake more than others. I am going to personally rate them though, from 1-10 (ten being the most odd).
# 20 Kal-El – Son of Nicholas Cage. Apparently Nic is a comic book fan and named his kid after Superman. He had changed his last name from Coppola to Cage in honor of Marvel character Luke Cage, so why not do the same for his son? Rating: 5
# 19 Pilot Inspektor – Son of My Name Is Earl star, Jason Lee. He liked a song by Grandaddy titled “He’s Simple, He’s Dumb, He’s the Pilot.” Not sure where Inspektor came from, and I’m afraid to ask. Rating: 9
# 18 Fifi Trixibelle – Daughter of Bob Geldop & Paula Yates. Not sure who looks at their precious baby and decides Fifi is the perfect first name? I wouldn’t even name a dog that. Bob’s aunt was Fifi though, so they thought they’d honor her. Paula has a fascination with southern belles, hence “belle”. Not sure where Trixi stems from. Rating: 8
# 17 Coco – Daughter of Courteney Cox and David Arquette. The celebrity couple was going to name her Courteney Cox-Arquette but according to Wikipedia, that went against David’s Jewish traditions. Courteney’s nickname was Coco so if it’s good enough for a nickname, it’s good enough for a first name! It is sort of cute for a nickname but a first name? Not so much. Rating: 6.
# 16 Kyd – Son of David Duchovny & Tea Leoni. David apparently liked the idea of yelling, “Hey, kid!” I’m sure it was one of those “you had to be there” funny moments, which isn’t so funny now. Rating: 7.
# 15 Sage Moonblood - Son of Sylvester Stallone. Perhaps he’s made too many Rambo movies. Or maybe he was hit too many times during the making of Rocky I, Rocky II, Rocky III….. Rating: 8.
# 14 Destry – Daughter of Steven Spielberg and Kate Capshaw. Maybe one of them liked Destiny and the other Troy, so they compromised? Lucky for the kid! Rating: 6
# 13 Memphis Eve – Daughter of U2′s Bono. It’s not the weirdest name by far but it reminds me of Summer’s Eve douche products. Poor kid. Rating: 7
# 12 Ocean – Daughter of actor Forest Whitaker. He’s said, “I want those names to be their destiny, for my daughter to be honest and my son to be expansive. I try to be like a forest, revitalizing and constantly growing.” Weird, but not the most bizarre. Rating: 5
# 11 Prince Michael II/Blanket – Son of Michael Jackson. I’m thinking most people wouldn’t expect anything less from Wacko Jacko. Rating: 7
# 10 Rocket Rodriguez – Son of Robert Rodriguez. I think I know where he was going with this: Robert has four younger siblings, named: Racer, Rebel, Rogue and Rhiannon. Keep the family traditions going. Rocket probably won’t be teased at school. Ahem. Rating: 6
# 9 Blue Angel – Daughter of U2′s The Edge. The names separately, not too crazy, but together, well, sorta sounds like a stripper’s handle. Rating: 5
# 8 Audio Science – Son of actress Shannyn Sossamon. Why, why, why? Rating: 9
# 7 Moon Unit, Diva Thin Muffin, Dweezil & Ahmet - Children of Frank Zappa. Ahmet is the least bizarre and I don’t even know what to say about Diva Thin Muffin. There are NO WORDS. Rating: 8
# 6 Moxie Crimefighter - Daughter of Penn & Teller’s Penn Jillette. Um, his wife allowed this? She was in on it? They both need to be slapped. Hard. Hard. Rating: 9
# 5 Tu Morrow - Daughter of Numb3rs actor Rob Morrow. Nice play on words there Rob. Your daughter will surely thank you when she’s old enough to kick you in the family jewels. Rating: 6
# 4 Zuma Nest Rock – Son of Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale. They named their first son Kingston – which is a perfecly lovely name. How do you go from Kingston to Zuma Nesta Rock? Someone, anyone, explain please! Rating: 7
# 3 Bronx Mowgli – First baby of Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz. They explained why they named their son Bronx Mowgli, but honestly, it doesn’t help. Every single time I hear the song from Jungle Book, I think of the Wentz family. Thank you for that. Rating: 7
# 2 Jermajesty – Son of Jermaine Jackson. Seriously, WHAT? Rating: 9
# 1 Nakoa-Wolf Manakauapo Namakaeha Momoa – Newborn son of Lisa Bonet (who I love, really, but honestly…that name) and Jason Momoa. Sure, the name was explained, but honestly, no matter what they say, nothing excuses them from naming their child Nakoa-Wolf Manakauapo Namakaeha Momoa. Except maybe if they were both suffering from a severe head injury. Even then… Rating: 10