Poor Levi Johnston. All the kid wanted was to be held and now he's being paraded in front of Alaska and America, respectively, as the official mascot of teen sex (unfunded teen sex, of course). Actually, he's probably loving every minute of it. Teen boys work hard for reps like that.
His plans have changed quite a bit. Normally he'd spend a Wednesday night hanging around the motherland (Alaska) waiting for the mullet to fill in, but not tonight! Levi will be joining his pregnant girlfriend and her family on the big, fancy stage that is St. Paul, Minnesota (not to be confused with the big, fancy stage that is Minneapolis, Minnesota) . He will get to experience first hand the magic made when two bodies that love each other, in this case Alaska and America (hey, which country comes first?), join together for a night and just let their emotion get the best of them. If it wasn't so political it would almost be romantic.
Speaking of romantic, Levi's mother has been quoted as saying that the couple had planned on getting married prior to the pregnancy. Regarding the new addition Sherry Johnston said, "'This is just a bonus." An unfunded bonus. In the country of Alaska. That has Hallmark channel written all over it.
I wonder if they'll get David Brickner to officiate the ceremony. Now that would be a bonus.
All of that being what it is, the real reason I feel sorry for Levi and Bristol is that their 2 minutes in heaven is going to cause them years, maybe a lifetime, of unwanted attention- much of which can be directly attributed to Sarah Palin throwing them to the lions, and to a lesser extent the fact that they had sex. Tonight they'll be fed to the media and let's face it, they aren't as nice as I am.
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