If there's one thing that I've learned writing for Famecrawler, it's that every single celebrity, even the most obscure and unlikely, has at least one obsessive fan. David Caruso, by my count, has at least two. Which doesn't exactly make him A-list, I know, but it does mean that I wasn't surprised when I heard he had a stalker.
Because if somebody is obsessive enough to have a little freak-out when a junior league gossip writer mocks his skinny little legs - as modelled in a tabloid photo of the actor carrying his small child - they just might be obsessive enough to try to hunt him down and touch those skinny little legs themselves.
Thankfully, I don't think that the Austrian woman who is being pursued by authorities for threatening Caruso with death (for refusing to sign autographs, apparently, and not because he has skinny legs) is one of the two fans who roam the Internet looking for opportunities to defend the poor man from mockery and injustice.
From E! News:
According to the Tiroler Tageszeitung newspaper of
Innsbrook, a warrant has been issued for the arrest of the 41-year-old
defendant, whose identity was not disclosed due to Austria's privacy
laws, after she apparently went AWOL.
The news comes just days
after her lawyer promised prosecutors that his client would be present
for the proceedings, which were expected to kick off on Wednesday.
The
fugitive is accused of sending more than 100 letters to the 52-year-old
actor, famed for playing Lt. Horatio Caine on the hit CBS TV series,
and stalking him for an autograph. When Caruso refused, the Tyrol
native allegedly bombarded him with death threats.
One little chestnut went thusly: "I will locate you and your ugly Latina tramp and kill you."
(The
tramp in question is possibly an allusion to actress Alana De La Garza,
who played Caine's cancer-suffering wife, Marisol Delko, on the show. A
sniper working for a drug dealer dusted her character at the end of
season four.)
Thanks to some crack detective work, the FBI,
working in tandem with Austria's Federal Criminal Investigations
Bureau, tracked down the apparently obsessed fan and took her into
custody last year.
Per the Austria Press Agency, the
suspect underwent an evaluation by a court-appointed shrink, who
testified that the suspect was suffering from a "profound personality
disorder."
It's too bad that he's just a fictional criminal investigator with a Jesus complex, because otherwise he probably could have tracked her down already himself and looked at her over his sunglasses and uttered some cryptic but no doubt brilliant assessment of the motivations for her crime, and that would be that. But that's the thing: his tortured-but-brilliant-and-compassionate investigator with the slick suits is fictional. In real life, he's an actor with a stalled career and skinny legs.
(*ducking from inevitable blows of outrage from his fan*)
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