Hey Kids, y'all like train rides? Well, strap yourselves in, because this here is the wildest ride in the west! Today we'll be taking a tour with Britney "Trainwreck" Spears through the sites and sounds of the magazine racks in the check-out line. In fact, unless you really need some Red Bull and ice cream, I suggest that you just sit back and enjoy the scenery.
Exhibit A: Star Magazine doesn't sugarcoat it.
- Britney has allegedly told the boys that they were both mistakes. Part of me feels better knowing this. It always troubled me to picture Ex-Fed and Britney discussing the planning of their family. However, it's about the boys (for once it's not about me), and a mom telling a child that they were a mistake seems about as painful a thing a parent could say. Hell, my mom only hinted at it and I'm still traumatized (oh, I guess it was kind of about me). I would have to say that those boys are the best mistake she's ever made, and that's saying something.
- Inside Kevin's Secret Custody File- Somebody let Ex-Fed have his very own file? Does he get to carry it in court and look important? I wonder if it makes him look like a grownup. Also, how can his custody file be a secret if we know about it?
- She makes out with men in front of the boys- Not a man. Not made out. Men, as in multiple, and makes, as in this is still going on. I bet she's making out with men (well maybe not, wait for the next cover) right now. Regardless, this doesn't send a very good message to the boys. The men, on the other hand, seem to be getting mixed signals.
- She refuses to change their diapers- It's not like anyone enjoys it, but suck it up Brit. If she can use a thousand dollar dress to pick-up dog crap, then she should be able to use her dirty old hands to change the Huggies. She strikes me as the kind of person that would change a diaper in the Wal*Mart parking lot and then leave it festering in the cart.
- Puts whitening strips on their teeth- Why does it not surprise me that she has no problem with their little nether regions being stinky and dirty, but insists on their teeth being bright? Hey, it works (worked) for her! They may not have teeth that required whitening if soda wasn't a major part of their daily intake.
- & More- NO! Please. I can't take any more.
Photo: Popbytes
