I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that this is a first in the history of theatre arts: a nursing mother is playing the role of Shakespeare's Juliet, and clasping baby to tit between readings of lines about maiden blushes bepainting virginal cheeks.

Lauren Ambrose is four months into new motherhood, and is rehearsing for her turn as the 14 year old virgin Juliet in Central Park's Shakespeare in the Park. And all she can talk about is breasts: breast-milk, breast-milk production, breast-feeding, breast-feeding between rehearsals, breast-feeding while eating cereal. “You asked me about my day," she says to the writer from New York Magazine, "and I just started talking about, you know, breast-milk production for no fucking reason.”

Actually, Lauren, there is a reason. The reason is, when you're a new mother and your tits are loaded like milk-filled cannons and the merest peep from a baby (or any baby-like creature - stay away from the monkey cages at the Children's Zoo there, Lauren) can cause those cannons to go off and you can barely keep your shoulders straight from the weight of those cannons - well, there's really nothing else that you can think about, is there, Lauren?

So while I'm pleased as punch that you'll be demonstrating for one and for all that there is such a thing as a virgin mother - if only on the stage - I hope that you'll keep the nursing pads (tip: try LilyPadz) tucked three-deep inside the nursing bra while you're onstage. Because the titty-cannons going off during Juliet's death scene would sorta ruin the mood.