First up: the sweetest rocking horses around. This Bjorn Dahlstrom-designed rocking horse for Playsam is my kinda solid wood black stallion. Beautiful curves, nice sheen, and it's $160 at Unica home. Not likely to buck. If black isn't your color or you want to spend less, check out the earth-friendly horse Mir found from Planet Happy Toys.

Oh, but the scariest? There's more than one...

This is the kind of thing my kid would start to move towards and I'd madly try and distract her. Because I didn't think it was possible for a horse to look, well, a little slutty. Even her saddle is too tight and kinda cheeky. And she has weird earrings. You are tryin' too hard, Hollie Horse.

Behold: if a horse tried to emulate Stevie Nicks. Whoa girl, don't you know those crimping irons give you split ends? I just feel too much leather and lace.

And am I the only one who noticed, um, Robert's very colorful horse doesn't have a face? Hold me, I'm afraid.