Sorry I Dropped Your Baby

artb — Fri, 07 Dec 2007 05:55:00 GMT

Our friends Rich and Caitlin had to be out of town unexpectedly so they left their 11 month old daughter with us for the weekend. We felt quite honored that they would trust us with such an important item. Elsie and Augusta (their daughter's name) are only two weeks apart in age so it was sort of like having twins for a little while. We had them sleep in separate rooms and when one woke up we'd pray she didn't wake the other. Once they were clothed and fed it was amusing to watch them play together. Their favorite toy for the weekend was this large cardboard box.

They also enjoyed pushing the plastic recycling bin around. Why is it that young kids get so much more pleasure from objects which are not actually designed to be toys? Should we even buy toys? I was pondering this question when Elsie reached out and scratched Augusta in the face. Augusta began to cry and I picked her up to comfort her. There was going to be a mark, evidence of our neglect. I walked over to the sink to wash it off and nearly tripped over an actual toy, a little wooden frog. I played the fall out in my mind and imagined myself twisting valiantly to cushion Augusta's blow. Or maybe I would have just dropped her on the floor. What if I had? Would I tell Rich and Caitlin? What's the proper etiquette there? Say you drop your friend's baby, but everything is fine. Should you tell them what happened? Well, probably you should, but really, do you have to? Someone should contact The Ethicist about this one.

As you might have heard, we've had some stormy weather out here in the Northwest so the streets turned to rivers and people had to kayak to work. Exciting as this was, we became worried that Augusta's parents might not make it home. What if they got stuck back on the east coast? How long could we care for this child? It was high drama over here, let me tell you. Caitlin's flight was cancelled, but she found another one and made it back to good old PDX at one AM. She came for Augusta in the morning just in time to change her morning diaper and it was quite touching to see the mother/daughter reunion.

"Looks like someone scratched you," Caitlin said to her daughter.

"It wasn't me," I said.

So we survied that parental test. I'm no Jane Roper, but still, my skills are honed. And if you leave your kid with us sometime I promise there will be no dropping. Or if there is I'll tell you.

Injuring Our Children is Okay

artb — Fri, 21 Sep 2007 05:38:00 GMT

The other day I hurriedly zipped Elsie into her little jacket and heard a scream as the zipper reached the top. "Shhh," I told her. We were running late and I assumed she was just expressing resentment at having to put on another layer of clothes. Elsie calmed down but when we reached our destination and I removed the jacket I saw that I'd actually pinched the skin on her chest pretty badly with the zipper. It was bleeding! Boy did I feel like a dumbass. Proof of injury below:

But really, what parent doesn't injure his or her child at some point? Of course it's accidental but we still feel badly about it. My friend Dave Mason recently left his daughter on the sofa, turned around for just a second and then heard a frightening thud. The baby had rolled off and hit the floor. "I think she's okay though," reports Dave. When, I wonder, will Elsie take her first big tumble due to my negligence? I recently checked her skull and noticed that that freaky soft spot has closed up, so hopefully she can withstand whatever comes her way.

Seriously, how many parents have tossed or lifted their kids high into the air only to discover a ceiling fan whirling above? It probably happens every year. Maybe every week. There was a touching episode of the great radio show "This American Life" a few weeks ago where they talked about a study performed on baby monkeys where the babies always forgave their abusive fake monkey mothers, even when they did crazy things like shocked or hit them. I can't explain it very well, but you can listen to the episode here, which I recommend highly.

In conclusion, I'm not saying that injuring one's children is okay...oh wait I did say that in the title, but what I meant is these things happen and we shouldn't beat ourselves up over them when they do. Especially when your cutting fingernails or zipping up jackets. It's hard to avoid! But ceiling fans and electrocution should be avoidable, for the most part.

Diaper Bandit : dropping baby

Sorry I Dropped Your Baby

Injuring Our Children is Okay