These were the days that the Diaper Bandit and I had been training for. All those late night bottle feedings and lessons on formula preparation had come down to this: 5 days straight without mom and her lovely breasts. At the airport we said a tearful good-bye to Maggie as she boarded her flight west for Oregon where she was headed to take that dreaded bar exam and then we went home to thaw out the the first of the 12 bottles of frozen breast milk which she'd carefully left behind.
For whom was this separation was going to be hardest? Little 6 month old Elsie, who would surely miss her mom? Me, the hapless father, who had been dutifully and happily sitting in the co-pilot seat for most of this time? Or Maggie the mother, who would now have to fret over all the potential incompetence which lay ahead? Besides those bottles of frozen breast milk she'd left behind some detailed instructions, including several seemingly unnecessary warnings like "don't mistake the laundry detergent for rice cereal".
Elsie and I survived our day away from mom and she even took to the bottle with before unseen vigor now that there was really no other option. Friends of our had offered to come give a hand, but I insisted I could handle all this on my own. The summer camp session had ended so I had no other work duties to attend to, besides this woefully neglected blog, of course.
Although Maggie had frozen a lot of milk, we'd still need to supplement that with formula as well. Maggie had read that a baby needs 40 ounces a day, which seemed like a lot, but I was game to try. That fist night I set up a bottle with the requisite amount of powdered formula ready to be mixed with water on a moments notice should Elsie wake up in the wee hours. Lately she'd been sleeping through the night, but I figured since mom was away anything could happen, and it did. Elsie woke up crying around 2am and I took her into the bed to try to console her. As I did this I sleepily tried to mix the formula and ended up spilling the water all over us both. This displeased Elsie and I very much. I had to change the sheets and flip over the mattress and get new clothes on everyone involved. It took a while to get us back to sleep and by then were were indeed missing mom.
The next few days were not so bad though. We went to the beach and stayed up past our bedtime nearly every night. I joined up with three women friends of mine who were all on vacation with their kids and no dads. We formed a fun posse of eight kids, three moms and one dad, me, and I learned quite a lot. My friends would all get their kids in bed and asleep hours before I was able to get Elsie down. They'd all be sitting down on the porch drinking wine and smoking cigarettes (it was their vacation!) while I struggled with little Elsie's bedtime ritual. Eventually one of them would take pity on me and come get Elsie to sleep in about ten minutes. Then I'd go downstairs and join them for a drink or four.
One night I was sitting talking to my mom friends about our plans once we finally move out west and I explained that Maggie would be working full-time, at least for a little while, but I did not intend to become "a Mr. Mom". I said this with a sort of sense of dread, as if that future was one that must be avoided. But then I realized that I was talking to three college educated career women, all of whom had temporarily given up their jobs so that they could raise their kids while their husbands worked. I backpedaled a bit and they all said that they found their lives quite fulfilling and I shouldn't be so quick to avoid it. We'll see, I guess. Hopefully I can get some writing done during the nap times, if I'm not too busy napping myself.
After I said good-bye to my friends Elsie and I had one more night together. At bedtime she went to sleep with little fuss and slept until 8am when Maggie called from the airport after her red-eye flight wondering where the hell were were. I hadn't set any alarm because I'd assumed Elsie would wake us up before 7am. Oops. When we got to the airport Maggie and Elsie had a very touching reunion. Maggie cried and Elsie seemed momentarily unsure who this woman was. But then when the boob came out little Elsie remembered.
It was actually a lot of fun just having some father/daughter time at this early stage in Elsie's life. I feel like I know her a lot better. And now I know what the real "Mr. Mom" job entails. Guess I better fill out an application for this fall, assuming Maggie was able to overcome her worries about us and pass that bar exam.
