1. Tell stories about my baby's bowel movements at social gatherings
2. Wear a baby bjorn in public
3. Clog my friends' inboxes with unsolicited pictures of my child
4. Talk like a wittle baby to my baby
5. Write a "parental blog"
6. Snort crystal methamphetamine off of Britney Spears' belly.
I believe that as I made each of those bold proclamations about my future parenthood, I also knew I might not keep them. It's not so much that I lost my priciples once the baby arrived, it's just that I realized they weren't such important priciples to hold. I do have huge respect for parents who buck the trends though, those who travel light and far from home with their children, those who eschew the masses of plastic toys, and those who work hard at maintaining friendships with non breeding single folk. And that's what I think I was getting at when I swore I wouldn't do certain things. That and trying to appear cool.
Recently some friends of our who are in a band parked their tourbus in front of our house. They were in the middle of a cross country tour, rocking out in clubs across the land. Part of me envied that rootless life, but another part was glad I wasn't sleeping on a bus the next night.
Before the show we were all eating dinner in a restaurant and some teenagers came up to tell Chad, the singer, how much they liked his music. Someone said, "Quick, hide the baby." But then his Chad's girlfriend Sybil proclaimed that rock bands with kids are cool, which they are. And bands who tour with their kids are especially awesome. I'm sure it's hard to do, but it gives the rest of us inspiration, and I bet those kids have a blast as well. Rock on!
