Band On The Diaper Run

Simultaneous Singing and Pumping

korkor — Tue, 06 May 2008 12:43:00 GMT

We made a music video in Brooklyn this weekend and we had the baby with us.

She was really amazing; she didn't take any real naps but didn't complain either.

The only obstacle that we faced was how to feed her once I was trapped in a plexiglass cubicle.

We loved the idea of having us both playing in these enclosed boxes while balls filled up around us. Only, once we were in them, we couldn't get out for hours.

Breastpump to the rescue! I literally looked like an art installation on modern day maternity. I had to stop the shoot and have my pump handed to me through the roof of the box. Then, I sat in there pumping away until I had a whole bottle of milk to pass back over the box so my sister could give it to June.

I think I introduced a bunch of guys/indie-filmakers to the art of human breast milk expressing. And, I'm pretty sure that has never happened while filming a music video before.

(Also, the shoot was filmed at space occupied by a great team of fashion creators who call themselves The Love Brigade. We got to wear their stylings. They might have seen my breasts 10 times that day and they didn't even flinch. )

Old Tour Videos

korkor — Fri, 02 May 2008 13:30:00 GMT

As we gear up for another cycle, this time with two kids instead of one, I'm finally uploading all the old videos. There are some from almost 2 years ago on tour with Magnolia. Watching all of these, for me, is a reminder that touring can be boring unless you have your child along to video. And, it also reminds me that pretty soon our lives will be consumed with snipets simlar to these:

Touring with band and child 06, memories...

On a long drive to Coachella our sound guy pulled out a Rapmaster, a fine 80's rap-along machine, and gave it to Magnolia when we had all reached our limit of ideas to occupy a toddler.

Mags, whom I do not deprive of dolls, discovers a new "baby" otherwise known as a sweet potato doggie named Ryan. She slept with it for a few days. It does kind of look like a baby-of a manitee maybe.

Our daughter had a buddy when we toured with Starlight Mints and "How to Tour with Kids" was created (and so were a few hundred nonsense songs).

And, what I'm really looking forward to the most in this upcomming year of touring...soundchecks.

Dad is the new Mom

korkor — Mon, 28 Apr 2008 02:04:00 GMT

For the first time today, Magnolia cried for her dad all evening. He went out to dinner with a friend and she just missed him. In the past she has cried when I'm away from her even if I've just gone to the gym for an hour. We even have a little routine of signing "I love you" to each other through the car window as I drive away. But this is a first, crying to me because Dad was not home.

While crying for Jason, she said, "He just does fun things that I can't tell you about." hmmmm When I pried into what that might be she confessed that he gives her candy and also lets her set up pillows and slide down them. I guess I got a couple cool points for saying, "Well, I think I can make a pillow slide too." And let me tell you, it ignited an hour of pillow sliding. And when I asked what exactly she missed about Dad. She said, "Well, his whole entire body." I told her I missed his whole body too.

It's a little bitter-sweet when your kid starts weeding out mom as the go-to person. But he's a pretty good dad so I totally understand.

On a side, non-jealous-of-Dad note, has anyone ever noticed how the lyrics for "The Wheels on the Bus" could lead child into thinking dads are cooler than moms?

The mommies on the bus say "SHH SHH SHH"

The daddies on the bus (who will take over as favorite parent soon) say "I LOVE YOU!"

But, seriously, I'm happy for the two of them.

First 2 Shows with June-Blow Outs, and our new Music Video

korkor — Thu, 24 Apr 2008 00:11:00 GMT

June joined us for a weekend of shows.

We played at Newbury Comics and Middlebury, VT (Brett, thanks for the photos)

The show went well, everyone was nice. Jason met a New Kid on The Block (his little brother was at the store to watch the show and he introduced the NKOTB guy to Jason.)

While eating lunch after the show June had 2 major blow outs-if you are a parent of a baby, you know what I mean when I say blow out.

One of the messes had to be changed in the record store bathroom. The other, in a McDonalds bathroom. June has these blow outs all the time-only now we've realized tour blow outs are harder to manage..where do you put the clothes? BTW, Are we using the wrong size diaper or something?

Anyway, my reality is one that involves sound-checking and then figuring out where to change a diaper.

On to other new things..our video is out now...new song...I'm the huge pregnant fox. Magnolia makes an appearance. Here it is:

KidRockers and National Record Store Day

korkor — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 20:47:00 GMT

We took the family into NYC for a kid rock show (not "Kid Rock," I mean a rock show in the afternoon for kids).

(Mags with Zach from Rogue Wave, June with Dad)

Our friends Rogue Wave played a special set for youngsters. Mags leapt out of her chair when they asked if anyone wanted to play tamborine with the band.

Zack's wife makes cool kids clothes also. Mags bought a rocket shirt.

The dicussion I had with Magnolia while the band played:

Magnolia: "Mom, they are making weird faces when they sing. I don't think those faces are cool."

(She's never used the word cool like that before. But at a rock show, I guess there is a first time for everything)

Me: "Actually, when people are really into their music, they make faces while they play. They don't even mean to. They are just into it. I think it IS cool."

Mags: "Oh, so they are INTO the song?"

Me: "Yes."

Mags: "Than I guess it's cool, mom. It just looks kind of funny."

Me: "Yes, but do you think you might make faces like that when you play?"

Mags; "Maybe when I'm INTO it."

I told my friend Gram (in the band) that story but it might have come off as offensive, sorry. And for the record, I like weird faces. She really just was observing the facial changes that came with the music. Plus, does anyone care if a 3 year old thinks something isn't cool? I hope not.

Anyway, the show was excellent. Really, it's "kidrockers" is for moms who don't get to go to enough rock shows anymore too, not just the kids.

We're playing at Newbury Comics (record store) in Boston tomorrow for National Record Store Day. It starts at noon. Come. We will try to make weird faces.

Magnolia's version of our new song

korkor — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 13:34:00 GMT

Our record will be out on May 20 and it's called "Re-Arrange Us"

And then, we will be on tour.

Our children will be traveling with us for most of the tours.

I don't know how it's going to be with 2 kids on the road (June hasn't been on tour yet). It's all new again, especially because there will be parts of the tour on a bus. I really wish we could borrow the Dixie Chicks bus-I heard it's fitted for a family. The only bus I've ever been on tour with had giant airbrushed pictures of a sumo wrestler surfing on the outside, and as you might have guessed, no cribs for babies on the inside.

The Zoo

korkor — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 12:54:00 GMT

The only thing my daughter really wanted to do at the zoo? Race and beat everyone, everywhere. If she lost the race (that, by the way, only SHE knew was going on) she'd drop to the ground and cry. We have a new "no racing mom and dad" rule in the house because she hasn't learned how to lose or even call it a tie yet.

Oh, she did like the sculptures and the french fries and the carousel and the candy that I bribed her with...

Not a ton of interest in the real animals though.

Last time we went on tour, we stopped at 3 or 4 zoos around the country. The penguin exhibit at the Omaha zoo was supreme.

But, zoos with stone tigers to sit on and peacocks murals to stick your head through are still Mags' favorite.

1234, We're not sick of this song yet

korkor — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 23:59:00 GMT

After talking to a few other parent friends of mine, we found out that "1,2,3,4" is not only a hit but, basically a wonderful children's song (only, she doesn't count right when she's singing, as Mags has noted)

Magnolia once told me to tell Leslie Feist that she should name her guitar "Singy" after Feist announced from the stage that her guitar is nameless. Mags was so into the concert that she's been singing her songs ever since that show (last summer, pre-ipod commercial).

PS: Since Jason and I both went to KU, I watched a basketball game last night and it was so good I wanted to move back to Lawrence.

Little Orphan Annie is not for 3 year olds, duh.

korkor — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 00:54:00 GMT

After watching Annie, Magnolia has been working some shit out.

She acts out the part where the mom gives the baby away even though she "still loves the baby"

Oh wait, this didn't even happen in the actual movie, but she actually cries while pretending.

Also, she told me yesterday (again with the real tears) that she wants new parents. We are apparently mean to her and well, she's had us long enough so she's gonna get some new parents. (Meanwhile, I had just finished being a human vaccuum again, sucking up pieces of her snack that dropped onto the floor-bet her new parents won't do that!)

It's a hard, knock life?

So, when you think Annie would be a great movie to show your almost 4 year old, remember that she or he might actually try to understand the concepts and that you will be having talks about why mean people like Mrs. Hannigan would be in charge of all sweet little girls anyway.

On a side, band note we are almost at tour time. One more month. And, I think we're going to finally get on one of those late night TV shows! Goodbye Annie, hello Conan.

Now THAT'S Music!

korkor — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 00:02:00 GMT

At about 6am the other day I was greeted by my waking three year old excitedly shouting, "Mommy, I can sing through my nose!"

Along with working on new talents, she loves getting into the crib with June, picking out all of her own clothes (see below), asking me to only talk in Spanish (fake Spanish of course) and playing a game she likes to call "mean Daddy." (he's not)

While June is getting big fast (check out those feet), Mags has obviously been going through some changes lately. This is due to the approaching "ferocious fours" and also because she's realizing that the little sister is here to stay (goodbye center of attention 24/7)

Anyway, after playing "name that tune" for a while with my snout-singing daughter, I called my sister and passed on the news of my kid's new talent.

A few days after that, my sister said to Magnolia, "I heard you can sing out of your nose."

Mags obliged her and did her nose puffing to the rhythm of "Twinkle Twinkle"

Then my sister said, "Can you sing out of your butt?" I think this was a rhetorical question of some sort but here's what happened next...

Magnolia paused, made a funny face, and blew so much loud gas out of her rear that I thought someone was playing a whoopee cushion joke on me.

Then she ended this improv session by saying "Now THAT'S music!"

Unrehearsed, honestly. And, she brought the house down.

Our little comedian, Magnolia (Seen here discovering photobooth)

Family Music Time and Girl Scout Cookies

korkor — Tue, 18 Mar 2008 03:18:00 GMT

A friend of mine recently met her boyfriend's family for the first time. Before she got there, he warned her of this weird tradition that his family did growing up (and still does). They get out instruments and sing songs every night after dinner, as a family. Amazing. Hence, after dinner family music at our house has begun.

Only, now that we've implemented family music into our after-dinner time, Magnolia is in charge. We have to pretend we are Elizabeth Mitchell and her daughter instead of being ourselves. And after seeing Liz and family play, she wants to (understandably) be them. So, we are pretending to be a different family, but a talented one none-the-less.

Sometimes famliy music turns into a full-on noise band jam session. I can't imagine how awesome it will be when Mags is a teenager and she brings a love interest over for the first time and we continue to do family music. he he

After a few press photos for Spin, Magnolia and I went on a hunt for the girl scout cookies Jason hid, yes, hid!

He bought 15 boxes and hid them all. Does anyone else live with someone who hides cookies? He confessed to eating a box for lunch the other day, a whole box. Share the thin mints man.

And June, happiest baby ever (even when I forget to cut her fingernails and she scratches her face all night)

Photo Shoot and Magnolia's Multiple Personnas

korkor — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 01:50:00 GMT

As fashionista #1:

Hollywood windblown look...

And as a strawberry diva in the making.

I've mentioned before that Maggie wants to be a make-up artist (or as a close second-a garbage girl) when she grows up. I think we've just encouraged the stylist career with this home-based photo session.

At one point I thought she looked just like one of those toddler pageant girls, scary. Don't worry, she was just doing this for fun. At her request, she tried on every wig and got her make-up done too. Then she went to the park and ate peanut butter and jelly for lunch like all other normal kids.

Finally, my favorite, Magnolia as the totally stoked 70's icon. She told me later that the really big frizzy wig was the best one. Gotta love that she chose this over the generic long pretty blonde hair.

Nursing-the breastfeeding kind vs. the hospital kind

korkor — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 01:31:00 GMT

So, we've spent the past two weeks totally sick. We had to admit little baby June, into the hospital due to RSV and bronchialitis. Hospitals, especially the childrens' ward are depressing places even though you are getting help. Amidst all the sickness and germs and millions of nurses (your best friends in the hospital) and nursing students and a few doctors, there are parents. Parents with little glimmers of hope in their eyes. You can't help but wonder, what's wrong with each one of their kids. At least June only stayed 4 days. It could have gotten so much worse and it didnt.

I decided, however, after staring at a small cubicle of grey, sitting next to a jail cell type crib, listening to beeping heart monitors and such hooked up to my month old child, I never, ever want to have to come back if we can help it. I will do everything in my power to prevent it.

She was a champ though, didn't even cry when they ripped off the tape from the tubes on the day we left.

Nursing, the other kind, the feeding kind, really helped June. In fact they say breastfeeding was the best thing going for her while she was so sick. Which leads me to what I last left off with: public nursing. I'll be doing it as long as it works for the two of us. And if anyone scowls at me for doing it in front of them while I'm miles away from home, on tour, I will remember that it possibly can help save my kid's life.

Next time, happy moments...and the photo shoot from our next album's artwork.

Smell ya later Tarquin Studio

korkor — Tue, 22 Jan 2008 22:25:00 GMT

We are officially finished with the new record (It'll come out in May).

Coincidentally, today was June's first recording session. Magnolia went to Gramma's to play dress-up instead of joining us. On a side note, she's been telling everyone she wants to be a garbage girl when she grows up or make-up artist. Awesome. We need both.

Peter Katis rules and Georgio kicks ass too. They did an amazing job on the record, treated us to food almost daily and they didn't even mind us changing a poopy diaper on the couch in front of them.

Smell ya later Tarquin Studio

PS:

Next time, I think it's time to talk about breastfeeding on tour. I'm already gearing up for weeks of the pre-feed warning (ie "Get ready people, you are about to see my boobs, hope that's ok") I remember last time I got really pissed in certain states with some folks who were unfriendly to the naked breast.

So, Get ready people, we are about to talk about boobs on tour (and not the groupie kind of boobs on tour)

June in January

korkor — Sat, 12 Jan 2008 18:05:00 GMT

June Elizabeth Hammel was born 1/4/08 (weighing in at 9 pounds)

She is named (partially) after my grandmother, Elizabeth, who passed away earlier this year

Magnolia calls the baby "Junebug"

"The big sister loves the little sister," Magnolia says (she is sitting on my lap as I type)

Our life right now.

Happy New Year (2008 Rider to include Gum and Diapers)

korkor — Wed, 02 Jan 2008 21:16:00 GMT

Look, "Another plastic mermaid toy!"

After opening hunks of plastic (toys) and a new kid-size couch with princesses all over it (slight gag), Magnolia is pumped for next year's holiday season already.

She's also gotten really into gum (Rudoplh left her some in her stocking) which came in handy when Jason got stuck in 8 hours of traffic driving our nanny to the airport (a new piece every 10 minutes). At least we have a new tour trick for the van.

We're still mixing the record, in between group vocal overdubs and arm wrestling tournaments. Peter (engineer/producer) says Jason is his toughest competition yet. I didn't compete because no one wants to be beaten by a short pregnant girl. For the record, I'm pretty sure I'm tougher than all three of the dudes here.

Speaking of tough, labor will be starting in less than 24 hours. I'm being induced tomorrow due to the potential size of my soon to be newborn.

Magnolia and I hugging for the last time before we're a 4 person family.

Baby will be here tomorrow or Friday.

I get to meet my new daughter within 48 hours. That's pretty incredible. Goodbye big belly. Hello little (big) baby.

Go to Babies R Us if you like getting headaches

korkor — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 18:14:00 GMT

We are wrapping up overdubs and mixing the record this week at Tarquin Studio. In between sessions yesterday, we hit Babies R Us for a few must-have items. Reality check-baby will be here any day and we don't have diapers or breast pads.

I got into a discussion with another pregnant mom at the super store. Our consensus: Babies R Us=headache. I told her to start following my rule of thumb, only stay for 30 minutes maximum and then get out before the migraine starts. With so many items, you start to feel like you are neglecting to remember crucial baby items like a safety foam pad for the bath tub so your child won't slip and drown or a pacifier thermometer so you don't have to stick it you know where every time the baby feels hot. We left with a couple essentials and the woman I talked to was checking out at the same time, both us us rubbing our foreheads.

Then we ventured over to Baby Depot for a changing table. Baby Depot is a more basement, discount style store with the same things as Babies R Us but with a gross bathroom (which Magnolia and I visited 3 times while shopping). I had to sit down on a display table at one point because I had a belly stretching moment. Immediately Magnolia came over to me and said, "Mom, let's go, I have to poop and this time I probably can't hold it if we wait." And I realized, I missed Babies R Us, at least the bathroom there smells nice.

We did manage to buy Magnolia her first sled. Turns out the sled was a way more important purchase for this family than onesies and changing pads-at least for now.

And, this morning, at the doctor, I found out that I'm still not in labor yet. Although, I am beginning to dilate.

Popping out (in the) New Video

korkor — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 01:35:00 GMT

Jason (porcupine) and I (fox) adjusting our masks pre-shoot

I pretty much look like the staypuff marshmallow fox. But, we had to shoot it pre-baby so, being that I'm so close to delivery, I'm enormous. In fact the doctor doesn't want me to go full term because the baby is already large and I hemoraged the first time I had a big baby. The baby might come early either by intervention or on her own. This doesn't change the fact that we are working until she arrives.

Steve Choo (left) a friend of ours, is an amazing person for making this video happen for us. His contributions included handmade animal masks from someone in Germany, brand new technology filmed with a RED camera and beautiful ideas all around.

The roughs we've seen are absolutely beautiful and... Magnolia makes a cameo. Trust me, we didn't force her, I've learned the difference between MAKING your child take part in your projects and LETTING them take part in what you love to do. She wanted to wear a mask and put makeup on like us. So, we inserted her in place of me in the end scene. And, the video story immediatly became more poignant. After all, she hands a flower to a giant terrorist bear.

We can't wait to see the explosion into the dancing animal sequence...and of course, Magnolia making her debut.

The F'n Stomach Flu and Finding the Bright Side

korkor — Wed, 12 Dec 2007 01:15:00 GMT

Magnolia threw up all over her bed. Then she threw up for two straight days.

So, I sat with her on the couch, pedialite in hand, and watched The Little Mermaid, Peter Pan and many episodes of her new favoirte show The Big Comfy Couch.

Um...Does this make anyone else laugh to the point of crying? Watch it with the sound off while he dances.

And, Do any other parents feel selfish when their kids get the stomach flu? Because all I kept thinking aside from "please make my baby better" was, "I can not get the stomach flu."

I must have washed my hands and face everytime they touched her. Everyone at Thanksgiving came down with the dreaded virus within a week either side of visiting family. I still haven't puked. I think I somehow avoided it. Maybe it's because I already had it twice this year. Maybe it's the pregnancy protecting me. But, Jason had it and so did my dad and my little nephew. The stomach flu sucks perhaps worse than any other kind of cold or flu.

The little pukers, hours before the first night of hell.

So along with the video of the big comfy couch which should at least get a chuckle out of you, here are some things that are cheering us up now that the vomit stopped.

Frances England's children CD "Fascinating Creatures"

Magnolia's Christmas list (including a globe and a robe)

Magnolia telling us that she really doesn't need to go see Santa because he reads her mind.

Peter Tarquin's chili (they guy recording our record actually makes us dinner almost every night)

Our live-in nanny while we record, Erin Abbott.

She takes pictures, writes childrens books, has toured with a million bands, put out an early 7" of one of my favorite bands, IDA, has good LA celebrity gossip, watches crappy TV like me, and most importantly, makes Mags happy.

We finished tracking all the songs for the new record and now we're mixing.

And yes, I actually tracked some good shit while sitting on Peter's green couch.

Tarquin Studio (And a story about knowing when to stop exploiting your kid)

korkor — Tue, 11 Dec 2007 17:59:00 GMT

The leaves are covering the ground-blanket style as we start to finish this record. We are recording the bulk of it at Tarquin studios in Bridgeport, CT with Peter Katis (Interpol, The National, The Grates). As always, because we are totally doting parents and we think that our daughter is already a musical prodigy even if her songs make no sense, we decided to bring her in for an hour in hopes to catch her cute, helium singing on the mic.

When Magnolia got to the studio, she was obviously tired (red eyes, cranky, etc). It was getting close to bedtime (first red flag). I asked her to hold a mic and sing. She of course, wanted a more expensive, silver mirophone which I refused to let her use and therefore frustrated her and immediately spawned heavy whining (second red flag). Then, when I finally got her to put the headphones on and sing into the right microphone, she wouldn't sing anything. Silence. After more adult prompting.... more silence.

This whole time, she had a pen in her hand and at this point, all she wanted to do was draw on a small piece of paper she found. I ignored this fact because it was time to record! (third red flag). I started singing "twinkle twinkle" with her to prompt her (once more) into song. No reaction. She stared at me while I started up on "twinkle, twinkle" again and then, out of nowhere (well not really out of nowhere) SHE STABBED ME IN THE MOUTH WITH HER PEN.

I was dumbfounded for a brief second and then immediately embarrassed. I totally deserved it. She got in trouble for stabbing me ( I asked her why she did it, and I was stern, etc) and then she launched into full crying session. I told her I was sorry for making her sing when she didn't want to sing. I had just tried to exploit her and therefore eased her right into preschool tantrum mode. Never again will I force my child into singing or doing anything she doesn't want to do for the sake of our artistic endeavors.

She was calm and happy again once my mom gave her some gummies for the ride home. But, I suffered a harsh awakening. How could I act like such a stage mom? I had a bloody lip to show for my ignorance. We got it all on tape but I haven't heard it yet. For the record, I've never been stabbed or even hit by my child before or after this incident. That's reeeeeally out of character for her.

Attention artist and musician parents, don't exploit your children. We all say we won't do it ever, we'd never stoop that low and then before you know it there we are forcing them to lay some blood on our tracks.

She's making her own record now. She tells us when to hit record and we give her absolutely no direction.

And it's snowing.

In Austin

korkor — Thu, 29 Nov 2007 02:20:00 GMT

We love Austin, it ain't no secret. Sometimes we pretend we are moving there, but we do that with Portland, Chicago and of course San Francisco as well. We went down to play the Fun, Fun, Fun festival and another show. We also did some recording with one of our favorite people, Jim Eno.

Magnolia got play with Drew, Jim's daughter. They are the same age. Our nanny overhead the following conversation between the 3 year olds.

Mags: "Does your mommy play music too?"

Drew: "No, my mommy takes care of babies at the hospital."

Mags: "My mommy and daddy both play music."

Drew: "My daddy works in the studio to pay the bills."

Mags (while nodding her head and speaking with a little 'tude) "Uh-huh, I know."

They totally have it figured out.

It was hot and I couldn't quite reach the harpsichord. Doctor says big baby, again. Or maybe eating those watermelon seeds finally worked.

Magnolia loved mixing the song for us. She had a total tantrum minutes after this shot. Typical producer.

Our nanny ruled. She brought all sorts of surprises for Magnolia and she took her swimming every day a the hotel.

Our hotel also hosted a little person's conference while we stayed there. When we first walked in, there were at least 50 little people hangin in the lobby. This directly led to a conversation of why a large group of "short people" (whom she assumed were kids) didn't have a mom or a dad with them. I was just thankful she didn't say anything about Santa since we had just seen a Chirstmas movie where the elves were played by little people. It could have been really embarassing but it just turned into a conversation about how everyone's bodies are different. And from then on we just agreed to say hi to people when we stare.

This is the last show we'll do pregnant. I'm proud to say I stood for almost the whole set in the heat. I think we still brought it.

Now we're off to Minnesota to see family since we won't be traveling during the winter holiday (baby time).

Show reveiw and live pic

Gestating (A New Record and a New Baby)

korkor — Wed, 21 Nov 2007 02:25:00 GMT

Last year we toured for ten months with our then 2 year old. This year we've changed it up a bit, played sporadic shows, we've taken our time writing songs and we have been quickly learning how different a 3 year old is than a 2 year old. And since I love making lists, here's what we've been up to in a list I like to call "What's up with the Band on the Diaper Run:"

Acoustic Shows (grand piano style)
Festivals (like the recent Fun, Fun, Fun fest)
Writing songs and recording them (various places around the country)
Starting Mags at preschool (she hasn't cried once)
Renovating our new house (annoying and messy but will be cool)
Filming a commercial (separate trailers on set, and we're not selling out, just saving up)
Playing benefit shows (Darfur relief, green earth, afterschool writing programs, we're good people)
Singing backup on Letterman (Feist is nice) and playing a New Pornographer's wedding (cover band with Neko Case, anyone?)
Gestating (a new full length record AND a new baby)

ACOUSTIC TOUR

We added members for the acoustic tour and played at small, intimate venues (Joe's Pub, top) and also at the Museum of FIne Arts in Boston (above). Linnea Weiss rocked on cello and Christian Owens shredded on bass and vocals. They both rule.

After owning the place at soundcheck, Magnolia begged to come on stage for the first time during a show. She didn't want to get off the stage (you can see her crying in the picture as we waved goodbye). I don't think we've created a monster but I do know that she expects to be on the stage at every concert we take her to. Oh, and she wants to be a a mermaid or at least a redhead all the time, hence the raggety, red wig.

Last Exit

editors — Thu, 31 May 2007 21:06:00 GMT

We left a thank-you note on the counter bidding farewell to our friends. I also left a couple pairs of underwear, which I've done on so many occasions traveling that it's become my tour trademark. We also left some toys, some books and my camera. Magnolia's been crying lots and lots at night, so none of us has been getting much sleep. Jason and I have vowed to do the cry-it-out method of sleep training when we get home. We did it when Magnolia was five months old and although it didn't make her sleep through the night, it did help her fall asleep on her own. Lately, nights have been as hard as when she was a newborn. So, I think we need to go back to the methods we used during her baby year. She is literally waking up all night long, unable to calm herself down. She's also only able to sleep in between her parents — who, I might add, haven't had a night alone in a long time, even though they spend every waking minute together.

The plane ride home, with a stop in Charlotte, was easy. I had to give Maggie my earplugs when her ears hurt and there was a little turbulence, but I only needed to take half my flight pill. There was a little baby in front of us. Her parents held her up over the seat facing us so Magnolia and the baby could entertain each other. This was a great time-waster considering we sat on the runway for an hour. Still, Mags kept saying, "How come we aren't flying yet?! I want to go in the air or get off of the plane!!" Could you imagine if she was on that Jet Blue flight that sat on the ground for thirteen hours? She would have freaked out. Or, maybe she would have just started singing, I have no idea. She is utterly unpredictable.

After we landed, we grabbed our suitcases, equipment and boxes of T-shirts, and took the train to the long-term parking lot at JFK. The parking lot felt like home. Magnolia really wanted to push the cart with her dad. So, the cart, with all ten bags piled on was pushed by Jason and a little squirt of a kid underneath him. I took a picture with my phone from behind them. (That's it, above.) And just then, feeling worn out and relieved to be home, I heard Magnolia singing, "How many roads must a man walk down, before you can call him a man? / The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind / The answer is blowin in my wind." It doesn't get much better than that.

See this post in its original format here.

Unplugged

editors — Thu, 24 May 2007 21:01:00 GMT

We took Magnolia to sound check with us. This was the first time we didn't have anyone to watch her while we sound checked. Originally my mother was going to come to Texas with us, but since her mother passed away, we made other plans. We'd bring her along to the show until right before we played, and then we'd drop her at the house we were staying at. We were lucky that Sharon and Troy (our Dallas friends) were willing to babysit after having us wreck their house for three days.

At sound check, we got Mags an apple juice, put her headphones on and told her to sit behind us on the stage. She started coloring while we set up. She was great. Only, we had another problem to deal with: the organ was nowhere to be found. It was not shipped to Dallas as it was supposed to be. After a few phone calls, we found out that there was some bad communication with the shipping company and our organ was still sitting at the theater in Seattle. No one picked it up. So, as my family likes to say, we were up shit creek. We found a piano keyboard and quickly tried to learn a bunch of organ and bass songs on the piano. We had already worked up some unplugged songs from the This American Life Tour but there were about twelve more we had to pull off if we wanted to get paid that night, not to mention avoid ridicule for sucking. Normally, if this had happened, we would have spent hours practicing and working out the songs. But our little girl was sitting on the stage behind us, finishing up the third Dora the Explorer picture in her coloring book. So we knew we had limited time.

We've been contemplating losing the 200-pound beastly organ for some time. The problem is, it's our signature sound. Although we know we can make music without it, it might take listeners some time and some very open minds to get used to it. We realized we'd find out soon enough later that night. Throughout the sound check, we'd occasionally have to pause because a little person was tugging on my shirt from behind. We'd offer snacks, a headphone break, and of course Gummi Bears, if only she would allow us to do "one more song." I felt a little guilty until I looked back during the piano rendition of "Fraud in the '80s," Maggie's favorite song by Mommy and Daddy. She was swinging her hips back and forth. So, I figured if she was dancing, fooled into thinking the song is normal, then maybe everyone else would accept the new, organ-free Mates of State as well.

We left, a little insecure but with positive outlooks and headed to a horrible Mexican restaurant called "Taco Diner" in Dallas. They gave me a side of grease with my tacos. I'm not kidding. We all tasted it. Grease. After lunch, we drove around the outskirts of Dallas for an hour so Magnolia could finish her nap. Then we let the kids put their bathing suits on and pretend to go swimming since the pool wasn't opened yet. Before we left for the show, I kissed Magnolia goodbye and she said, "Don't worry, Mommy. I will not cry when you leave. I will be a good, big girl." I love her.

I'm not sure how the show went. (You can see clips here, here and here.) I think we pulled it off okay. It was kind of fun to be put in a situation that we might have thought unsalvageable in the past. Now that we're parents, I feel like we just accept situations with shitty circumstances if there is nothing we can do about it. That's Zen, right? Maybe that's what parenting gives you, Zen capabilities. Despite all the new worries, sleep deprivation and responsibility, you can shrug your shoulders when there is nothing else you can do about bad luck. Plus, another band's van got stolen after the show with all of their equipment inside. So, if anyone was standing around saying how we sucked without the organ, they forgot when the chaos surrounding the van theft began. I tried to offer the bummed-out band some money, but my money was just not gonna help, considering someone took their entire van with suitcases, amps, computers, guitars and all. I hope they find it — although the police in this neighborhood in Dallas completely ignored us when our van got broken into a few months ago. Might not be the best area for a rock show. Oh, well. Tour is over soon.

Once we came back from the show, Magnolia was up twice that night, balling her eyes out. She can't handle this whole sleeping-without-her-pacifier thing. I'm so tempted to go buy her more pacis and let her keep them another year, but Jason would kill me.

Next time: There's no place like home!

See this post in its original format here.

Lone Stars

editors — Thu, 10 May 2007 20:56:00 GMT

Magnolia sang the whole time on the flight. We recently learned some Bob Dylan songs back home. She likes to change the words to "Blowin' in the Wind." Her version goes something like this: "How many roads must Rhue (our cat) walk down, before you can call her a cat . . . " It's the never-ending version. She can substitute in everyone she knows. And those are her favorite kind of songs, the ones where she can include every name she can think of in the lyrics. She sang loud. She sang proud. I think I could see some passengers' eyes rolling after ten minutes, but there was no way in hell I was going to tell her to stop singing. Because that would mean the whining and crying would start. I tried to teach her what "inside singing" should sound like. But, come on, she's seen us sing inside a number of times. And there is no whispering involved when we sing. So those people had to deal with a a helium version of Dylan for a portion of their plane ride. Big deal. We thought it was funny. We are annoying parents.

In Dallas, we stayed with a friend Jason grew up with. His family has a huge swing set, tons of toys, princess dress-up clothes, smoked food and a nice house. They also have a mini four-wheeler, which their kids actually ride it in their fenced-in backyard, with helmets. The best part, though, was the Texas heat: when we walked off the plane, it felt like we were going on a spring break vacation. You could even smell flowers.

The oldest child there took Magnolia under her wing and they pretended to be sisters the whole weekend. The little boy, who changed his clothes every five minutes, drank syrup from the fridge and had more energy than anyone I'd ever met, filled Maggie's head with all sorts of new ideas. We really loved having her around two little ones, albeit a brother and sister who have night and day personalities. We debated adopting a six-year-old girl after spending the weekend there. I forgot that kids can go play in a totally different part of the house, while the adults sit around and talk. The idea of another child is starting to settle with me more now. However, touring with two kids? Impossible, I think. Although I know Kristen Hersch does it. And I know Low does it. But I wonder how hard it is.

Next time: We play our first acoustic show!

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Redemption Song

editors — Thu, 03 May 2007 20:49:00 GMT

My close friend and our road nanny, Suzi, took a couple days away to fly to Seattle and babysit Magnolia for the night. All of us went to sound check. Magnolia met all of the This American Life folks: Ira Glass, David Rakoff, Chris Wilcha and her favorite, Jane Feltes, who seems to be running the show around here. At one point, David invited Magnolia onto the stage, front and center, to sing and dance. She got a little shy, although she loved standing up there. She loves performing even more. When she makes up songs or dances, she doesn't just sing and dance. She makes this intense face with her eyebrows creased and she holds her arms out as wide as she can. She gets into singing so much that if you interrupt her enough times she says, "Just a minute! I'm busy singing." I hope she never stops feeling it like this. I think we all felt it like that at some point in our lives. It's that meditative place that making and playing music can take you. I still feel it, most of the time, but we have so many other things floating around in our adult minds, we can't escape that easily while we sing.

I woke up the morning of the show with a migraine headache. Then my mom called to tell me that my Gramma had just passed away. I didn't cry. Something is wrong with me, surely. I cry at the thought of losing people. I even make up horrific stories imagining how my perfectly healthy family will die, and I cry about it. But I spent all morning trying to make these real, grief tears come out and they wouldn't. I was close to my Gramma. I am a lot like her and my mother, but I'd save the crying for later, I guess. I did feel different playing the show that night. I never played better actually. I hit every note perfectly, I sang on tune (I think), I didn't get nervous, and I nailed all of Ira's cues for the first time. I think my Gramma was watching us play. In fact, I think her and my Grandpa were dancing on the stage, or maybe up in the rafters while we played. I do believe in that kind of thing happening.

We had to change our flight plans. We were going to stay and extra day in Seattle to record a song. But, the funeral... So, we paid our 2,000 bucks (yes, 2,000 dollars) to change our flights plans from Seattle to Dallas (stopover) to Kansas City (funeral) to Dallas (to play a show) to New York (mom's house). We got up early, drank two coffees each, Magnolia had an organic chocolate milk and we split a Starbucks muffin. We lugged all of our suitcases and equipment (minus the organ which will be shipped to Dallas), pleaded with the cab driver to take us to the airport five minutes away even though we didn't have a carseat, and we convinced Mags that another plane ride would be fun since she's sooo friendly now.

This plane ride, broken into two separate plane rides, was a little harder for her. At one point we put every barrette we could find in her very fine hair and took pictures. She loooves taking pictures and looking at them. Who knew the digital camera age would be so helpful for parents trying to buy time on airplanes with their young children? On a side note, Magnolia now has a mullet of the variety that is usually seen on young babies. She is quite aware of the fact that now she has hair. In fact, she was fully aware when she was bald that she did not have hair. Although we convinced then her that bald is beautiful, we're happy to report the hair on the back of her head is growing strong. The hair on top is of the slow-growing variety. Throughout the flight she did continue to tell people hello, and then shout, "See how friendly I am! I'm such a big girl, everyone!" while wearing lipstick and ten to twenty sparkly barrettes in her wispy head of hair.

For the funeral service, my two sisters and I decided to talk about our grandmother. We put together stories and poems and lists of things she loved that will always remind us of her. I was torn on what to do with Magnolia when we got to the church. An aunt of mine volunteered to babysit. But Jason decided that there was nothing wrong with bringing her into the service. I was just worried about a two-and-a-half-year-old seeing all of her favorite people blubbering and sobbing. But she was totally entertained throughout the funeral. She sat on Jason's lap and loved hearing Mommy, her aunts and her grandparents get up and "tell stories on the microphone." And when a soloist sang "How Great Thou Art," my Gramma's favorite song, Magnolia sang with her (with her own unintelligible words, of course).

An old, dear friend of mine came to the funeral and luncheon. We were in a band together ten years ago. She doesn't play much music anymore because she has three kids. But I still think of her as one of my musical soul mates. When she unexpectedly walked into the service, I cried hard. It's amazing what an old friend can bring out in you. Then I hugged my mom, although not long enough after all she's been through this week, and we were off again.

Next time: Our Dallas show unexpectedly becomes Mates of State: Unplugged!

See this post in its original format here.

Fly Girl

editors — Thu, 26 Apr 2007 20:41:00 GMT

Sometimes, your kids surprise you in the best ways. On a recent flight to Seattle, Magnolia suddenly became "friendly airport kid." She made her way around the gate area, making observations about everyone. "Hey, she has flip-flops on . . . it's not really time for flop-flops yet!!" "Look, Mommy, she's laying down on the floor!" "Hey, he looks like Daddy kind of, except he's bigger!" Everyone laughed. Clad in her silver fluffy skirt and bright red tights and radiating her new "love everyone" personality, she was named "Little Miss Sunshine" by the flight attendants. She was so good, even I couldn't believe it — especially after the hell we've been going through with the whole paci thing.

She might have pissed off one passenger, though. On one of her many walks to the bathroom (remember: she was just potty-trained, which means she feels she must sit on a public toilet every ten minutes), she started a sunshiny conversation with the lady in front of us.

Magnolia: "Hi!"

Lady in front of us: "Well, hello."

M: "Um, this is my Daddy. Do you have a Daddy?"

Lady: "I used to, but he's not here any more."

M: "Oh, well . . . when are you gonna get a new Daddy?" (Nice to know she sees parents as totally replaceable). The woman chuckled and we started to feel a little uncomfortable, so we started trying to reel in our friendly little daughter.

But, before we contained her in our row she had one last thing to say/shout.

M: "You know what? Your hair is kind of messy!" And she laughed and pointed at the lady's hair!

Humiliating or hilarious? I'm trying to figure it out.

I did have a little talk about saying the right things to people when you notice things about them. That conversation totally confused our two-and-a-half-year-old, so I wish I had just left the situation alone. Luckily, the hair comment was made in the final thirty minutes of a seven-hour trip. And, the woman's hair was pretty messy. Maggie tells us all the time when our hair is messy and we all laugh. So I think we're in a new phase of parenting: the phase where our child might be cute and friendly, but also could occasionally be rude and forward and embarrassing. Either way, she ruled on the airplane. She only said she wanted to get off two times. And she wore her seat belt. And she fell asleep in my arms before we landed.

See this post in its original format here.

Pacified

editors — Thu, 19 Apr 2007 20:31:00 GMT

The snowman is melting. If we let her, Magnolia would watch the snowman melt all day long, like old people on their porches watch the grass grow. She explains to us over and over that he will melt all the way down. It will get warm and the snowman will melt. Once when we were driving in the tour van and she was watching the Frosty the Snowman movie with her headphones on, she suddenly started crying and screaming. We couldn't figure out what was wrong until I looked at the DVD player and realized that Frosty had melted. This might have been a little traumatic for her at the time. But now somehow she is able to make the connection that sun melts snow and snowmen are made of snow. And she is totally enthralled in this process. She is similarly fascinated when butter melts on toast.

Magnolia decided last night (a.k.a. the day before we are due to fly to Seattle and go on tour for a week, sleep in hotels, fly on airplanes, etc.) that she wanted to mail her pacifiers to babies who need them. She said she was ready to start being a big kid. In the past month, she has potty-trained herself and now, after a year of our unsuccessful attempts to remove the plastic from her mouth, she has decided it's time. The binky has been causing her front two teeth to stick out and has been making her breath smell absolutely foul in the morning (the smell is termed "paci breath" in our family). And we've gotten pretty sick of other parents passing judgment when they find out our very verbal two-and-a-half-year-old still uses a pacifier.

We were pretty overjoyed that she came up with the notion to get rid of all pacifiers on the spot and to mail them in an envelope to "babies everywhere" last night. At the time, she seemed to clearly understand that once she sent them away, they would not come back at bedtime. But of course, now the withdrawal has begun. Last night, she had to sleep in our bed (something we gave up a year ago due to severe lack of sleep on my part), and she woke up every hour and cried. So you can imagine the amount of crankiness we've been dealing with today. Plus, I didn't sleep at all. If I don't get any sleep, I am capable of adult tantrums. Then when I just put her down for her much-needed nap, she screamed, pounded the floor and acted like the baby that she doesn't want to be anymore — for over an hour.

What Magnolia didn't know yet was that, when you give your pacifiers away, the paci fairy comes. So Magnolia earned some new dress-up princess clothes from the "paci fairy," and she spends her overtired minutes putting them on, taking them off, putting them on, taking them off, etc. And although she needs help, she thinks she doesn't. So I get yelled at every time I help her pull the pink taffeta fluff over the princess tiara. At one point, Magnolia broke down and told me to "go find more pacis in the house right now!" And when I came back, she had already cried herself to sleep. I might go buy a pacifier for the plane ride tomorrow. No one will be able to bear an overtired, paci-grieving toddler on a six-hour flight.

Oh, and we bought a house! We thought about going back to San Francisco, or moving to Chicago or Austin, but we came to the conclusion that touring on the east coast is easier, it's nice to have grandparents nearby (free babysitting) and we can't quite afford living in the heart of any big cities yet. So we're still in Connecticut, only a lot closer to New York. And now we're off to Seattle.

Next week: A very surprising plane ride.

See this post in its original format here.

Fur Real

editors — Thu, 12 Apr 2007 20:18:00 GMT

PETA asked us a year ago if we wanted to be part of their anti-fur campaign. We aren't vegans, so we aren't perfect animal rights activists, but we do believe that the fur industry is really unnecessary and cruel. (Watch a video of me and Jason talking about this here.) So we finally got around to posing for a picture for them. We posed naked, or rather, almost naked — our pants were pulled down but they were still on. It was funny. The photographer felt uncomfortable telling me when to cover my "er, um, nipples". We really thought no one would even notice that we did this, but we had a lot of backlash, as well as many supportive comments. I guess that means the effect was positive, since it got people talking. Plus, this might be the first time in history that people talking about our band focused something other than our marriage. Some of the mean comments have included how we look like trolls, and how we are hypocrites because I have a diamond on my finger and the diamond industry is equally as horrible. I don't remember the good comments. That's a fault of mine. I hear the negative ones over and over but I can't remember the nice words. Whatever. . . we were trying to do something we felt strongly about.

As we're debating our nude PETA photo, we notice something ironic in the very room we are sitting in. We're staying with my parents until our new house is ready, and Magnolia is eating her breakfast next to something she (and her parents) are a little frightened of. Hint: it's not the TV or the enormous Elmo. Check it out.

We never got asked to advertise our objections to hunting, so for the record, we object. And also for the record, my father hasn't shot anything in a long time. He has finally started leaning toward us "bleeding heart liberals," right Dad? Anyway, if we took naked pictures in protest of everything we didn't agree with, we'd be walking around buck naked all the time.

Next time: Magnolia faces her pacifier addiction, and we get ready to rock the west coast!

See this post in its original format here.

This American Life

editors — Thu, 05 Apr 2007 18:47:00 GMT

We are playing with the "This American Life" tour at the famous and beautiful Chicago Theater. It is beautiful. Last night, we played an equally incredible theater in Minneapolis. The whole time we were in Minnesota, all anyone could talk about was the four feet of snow expected to start that evening, which would supposedly lead to our being stranded there and having to cancel the Chicago show. I asked Ira Glass what he would have done if no other performers had made it through the snow. He simply replied, "I would have done the show by myself."

(Jason and me in the Chicago Theater)

The authors on this tour are now my favorites. They are all a little older and more experienced than I am, and they all have the social gift of restraint and quick wit. I, on the other hand, blab until (with luck) something interesting comes out. Dan Savage is funny and sweet and has given us parenting advice (he says to have a second baby soon). He notices pretty architecture even though he has a near-broken leg from snowboarding. David Rakoff is the most friendly. He's also highly intelligent and I hope he never catches me reading People. David even carried my heavy bag one night when we all walked from the venue to the hotel and we talked about how musty-smelling thrift stores make people like myself have to uh . . . use the bathroom. I'm tempted to tell him I love him. Sarah Vowell is quiet, but I love her dry wit. When I do hear her talk, she always has something witty and memorable to say. On the first page of her book Assassination Vacation, she talks about the assassination of Abe Lincoln by the slave-lovin' John Wilkes Booth. I am actually related to John Wilkes Booth. Seriously. My Gramma studied our geneology and, along with the guy who invented Morse Code, we are in the same family tree as Lincoln 's murderer. I considered mentioning this to Sarah in hopes of sparking a conversation, but then I realized that it might be what people call a skeleton in the closet. Jonathan Goldstein is laid-back. He's off the tour now, but I feel like if he were still here, we'd be friends by now. I liked him. Oh, and Chris Wilcha rules. I think that guy is the most like us. He's the producer of This American Life, the TV show. He's nervous, too, to be in front of this audience. But his work is brilliant and he has a daughter a year younger than Magnolia. (Could he be a Mate-ster?) He mentioned he'd like to do a video for us and we about wet ourselves.

Eventually, this tour will make us feel smarter. It's like playing soccer against a better team; you play better defense and you are more calculated in your offense because the stakes have been raised. We feel like we will make better music and perhaps tell better stories.

I am backstage and I just got off the phone with Magnolia. Here is our conversation:

"HI Mommy. What are you doing?

"I'm getting ready to play music. What are you doing?"

"I'm playing with Beat. (Beat is her aunt, my sister Kristin, who has a slightly small head and was nicknamed Beetlejuice and then Beat for short)."

"What are you playing?

"ARE YOU THERE, MOMMY??" (She likes imitating the cellphone generation and shrieking, "Can you hear me now?")

"Yes, I'm here. Can you hear me?"

"Yes I can hear you. I was just checking if you were still there. ARE YOU STILL THERE, MOMMY?"

"Yes, I'm still here."

"Oh, actually I'm hungry and I"m gonna go eat right now."

"What are you gonna eat for dinner?"

"Um, spaghetti and then Beat will give me some candy . . .

"Oh, you must have been a good girl."

"No, I'm a good boy. Say I'm a good boy, Mommy"

"Good boy. I miss you."

"I miss you too. ARE YOU THERE, MOMMY?"

"Yes. I'm here still. Do you want to say hi to Daddy?"

"Yes. I want to talk to Daddy now."

"I love you. I will see you tomorrow."

"LOOOVE YOOOOOUUUU. SEE YOU TOMOOOORROW!"

Then she had the exact same conversation with Jason.

Next time: we pose (naked) for PETA!

(David Rakoff, Jason, Dan Savage, Chris Wilcha, Jane Feltes and me (looking fat, I might add) on the "This American Life" tour)

See this post in its original format here.