Baby Squared - All Comments

re: Taking it Silly and Slow

T's mom — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 17:49:25 GMT

I am going to have to give the slow down idea a shot. My son is 2 yrs 8 months and is tantruming/freaking out a lot and I wonder if maybe, just maybe it's the same thing... he doesn't feel like we're hearing him and wants us to mellow out a bit. Maybe the frenetic pace of life is something we can all learn to slow down a bit. Thanks for the post!

And I too am loving the goof-ball stage we're in here now! We say a lot of Mr Goofy pants or Mr Goober pants around here!

re: Taking it Silly and Slow

Allison — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 12:21:50 GMT

Funny how slowing things down rings true for us as well. My 3 yo twins have said for a long time when getting them dressed and out the door... "Not so fast! Slowly!" I think rushing makes them panic a bit. It's as if it hurts them. Something I should make an effort at fixing... Thanks for the helping me recognize it!

re: Taking it Silly and Slow

April — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 12:05:38 GMT

Glad you are better able to help Clio not get so upset. She sounds like such a sweetie.

For awhile now, Eric and I will play this game where I cross my eyes and make a funny face and then he does the same thing (impressive he can even cross his eyes purposefully). He looks so funny doing it! We do it to each other and just bust out laughing at each other. I never fail to crack up everytime he does it. That is something I bet I will always remember.

I love getting silly with my boys too. Something so precious about children's laughter is spot on.

re: Taking it Silly and Slow

Alli — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 04:42:43 GMT

Your breakthrough with Clio is so interesting. I'm currently attending the National Association for the Education of Young Children's annual conference and there is a whole session dedicated to respecting children's right to take their time when processing and expressing their learning. I've also been hearing about Magda Gerber's concept of "baby time" which I have to research more.

re: A Not So Happy Halloween

emily — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 02:28:49 GMT

Wow - these comments make me feel a little (?) bit better. I'm in the throes of the FUThrees....Probably 6 out of 7 nights I feel like I'm a terrible parent, or that I've done something wrong along the way, or that my child will be angry social misfit, or that I haven't read enough books, or that I have read too many books and know nothing, or that I shouldn't be working. It's horrid. I cannot imagine more love than the love for your child, but I am so frustrated a lot of times, so thank you all for sharing your stories.

re: Taking it Silly and Slow

mama de marlie — Sat, 21 Nov 2009 01:51:33 GMT

it's funny - the clio discovery sounds so logical! but how un-intuitive it was. great find!

as for the silliness, marlie came home yesterday singing a song that rang, "sticky sticky bubble gum makes my hands stick to my book" or whatever she sees in her immediate periphery. but how quickly it turned to "sticky bubble gum sticks to my bummy bum" (laughs laughs laughs) and "to my diaper!" and "to my noku!!!" (which is our word for her hoo hoo) what's with the bathroom talk? silly.

re: Parent Shock

April — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 21:39:22 GMT

Michelle: That too! I am a hardcore Twilight mom! I have always been an avid reader and now that I am a mom that doesn't change. I used to have one baby asleep next to me on the floor and one baby in my arm and a book in my other arm when they were tiny. The summer they were born was the final Harry Potter book release so you know, the birth of my children was not the only big thing going on that summer! haha

A mom in our club asked about having time to read once you have multiples and some moms said "OH no you won't have time, it doesn't happen." I spoke up and said "I read everyday almost. It does happen if you make time for it." I would rather read a book while they nap then talk on the phone to someone, or watch a soap opera, or nap even! ;)

re: Parent Shock

Michelle S — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 15:34:49 GMT

As stupid as it sounds, I am all about little bits of escapism now - stupid movies or cheezy books (I find the Twilight series and the Sookie Stackhouse/True Blood books particularly helpful). These are things I would have turned my nose up at a couple of years ago, but now that my son is 2.5 and baby 2 is due any day now I can at least find a little solace in a world that is so vastly different from my own. Plus, its cheaper than a vacation and I can squeeze in a chapter in 15 minutes!

re: Parent Shock

April — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 13:43:08 GMT

I actually am the opposite now. The first year of their life was madness. I never left the house or got to do anything alone or away from the babies. I found myself being depressed some and just overwhelmed. My mom was not comfortable taking them much the first year. Last year, the 1 year old year, I got out alone a lot more and it felt great!

Now with them being 2. I get alone time a lot. Going to "New Moon" on Friday night with a friend alone. :) Going out with my Dad for a movie for my birthday alone Sat night. :) Then getting Thanksgiving weekend completely childfree as my mom wants to keep them from Thursday to Sunday. I am very lucky now when it comes to alone time. So I really get the adult and recharging time I need. Thank God for that!

It was not always so and that was when it was hardest. As much as being a mom is who I am and what I am all about and what I wanted-I need some time away now and again. Especially being a stay at home mom and always being on duty the rest of the time. If we didn't have my mom though, we would be up poop creek without a paddle because we would NEVER get away. It is a big fear I have that something will happen to her and right now when they are young, I just could not do without her. She is the only one willing or able to babysit for us and we are definitely too poor to pay someone! haha

Try to get out more often for girl's night and then trade off with hubby for guy night. It definitely helps.

re: Now we're cookin'

April — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 13:33:06 GMT

Made pizza for the first time with my twins last night. They loved it! It went well. Except that you see how much harder two is instead of one. We only had one big stepstool so they took turns doing their own pizza. Well the taking turns thing of course was hard for them. Then I had the oven heating up while we cooked and Harrison kept trying to touch the hot oven when it was not his turn. Plus while I was washing Eric's hands, Harrison went for a knife on the counter. So all in all it was fun, but I did have to do some yelling at them because it was a bit hectic. They still seemed to super enjoy it. So try pizza with them. I just got those already ready crusts.

re: Now we're cookin'

Patricia — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 18:51:02 GMT

I love cooking with my twins (a couple of months younger than yours) and have done so from very early on. I use this blog as a way to divide up the tasks. Have fun

tribecayummymummy-cate.blogspot.com

re: Parent Shock

Michele — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 17:17:25 GMT

I don't have anything to add that hasn't already been said...my twins are two and I would love to have one night, just one morning away from them although I love them to pieces. But I can say, I hear you sister(s) and you are not alone...

re: Parent Shock

Amber — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 16:58:36 GMT

I'm actually childless... My husband and I are talking about trying for a child next year. This post is one of my huge fears. I'm still trying to wrap my head around a game plan for not losing myself or my relationship with my husband. I know that we'll figure it out one way or another, but it's great to hear that my fears are founded in reality.

re: Parent Shock

6512 and growing — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 16:34:23 GMT

I know, I know. I constantly feel that pull between Need Some Time Away From Little People and their whines, grabby hands, messes *and* This Sweet Time Will Pass Too Quickly.

I guess my solution is to make the most of my little blips away from them, and sometimes 2 hours can be incredibly rejuvenating.

And the Mother Shock is for real. Like, how did I wake up in this loud, sticky place so far away from life as I knew it?

re: Parent Shock

seranel@hotmail.com — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 07:32:14 GMT

Not to gloat or anything (I swear!) but I managed to convince my husband to let me go to Mexico with 3 of my (single, no kids) girlfriends for FIVE whole days and OMG, it was so cathartic. Ever since I got back, something feels different - it's like I got myself back.

re: Parent Shock

Patty — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 02:30:27 GMT

If you find an extra vacation lying around, we could use one too...

Last month we used Grandma's Babysitting Service to take our son for a couple of Saturdays, and got a heck of a lot done at home (including a little goofing off, amazingly enough). We resolved to do this as often as possible. But then, we work all week... and there's this whole conflicting feeling that we can't waste any of the time that we *can* spend with the little one. He won't be a snugglebug for long.

re: Parent Shock

Jessica — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 02:26:42 GMT

Amen, Jane. I have been trying to get across to my husband that I just want to get away from being a parent for a little while, fully and completely (he keeps trying to plan a mini-vacation...but bringing the kids, who are 2.5 and 9 months!). I love them like crazy, but sometimes I just want to remind myself that I exist apart from them and that it's okay to stop and think, because usually when we're apart, I'm at work or rushing to get some errands done.

re: Fear of Poop

Patty — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 02:23:12 GMT

Thank you, Rachel and Voice of Reason, for your hair-washing encouragement. For now, we're going the once a week whether you need it or not route... at least there's only a fight once a week. For face washing, baking soda instead of soap seems to help (he hates when soap gets in his eyes, nose, mouth, ears, etc.).

We also used special prizes (Thomas train cars) for his first potty poops. Since there were only three of them available, after than we moved to chocolate -- though he still really wants more "special train cars!"

re: Parent Shock

kristen — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 21:53:52 GMT

I'M GLAD I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE who feels like this!!! I think when i had my son i was just so into being a mom, and even wheni would go out, i was always wondering about him.But now having two( a 10 month and an almost 3 yr old) i'm really missing those days where i could just walk out the door, get in my car, and drive, and then get out the car, walk in the store buy what i want, and walk out. Its this whole process now. and the rare times my mom watches my little ones, its always at night, and when i go out i'm usually by myself, and i forget what its like to be an adult sometimes. to have real conversations, to just be ME!!

dont get me wrong i love my kids, but being a mom is tough and i am a youngen(24). So i still have a little bit of living to do, even tho i do have young ones!.

Thanks for the reminder tho that every1 feels liek this sometime, and i dont feel like a bad mom.

re: Fear of Poop

Voice of Reason — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 21:53:16 GMT

Good point, Emily - this book is also helpful in those circumstances (for those less artistically inclined than your MIL):

www.amazon.com/.../0794506437

re: Parent Shock

Melissa — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 21:01:31 GMT

I think we all feel this way when the kids are toddlers. They just demand so much attention. Two of them adds to the mix. There are brief moments now when Michael will be watching a movie and I can actually cook without interruption or even sort of read a magazine for a few minutes.

As for going out alone for dinner, it almost never happens. We relieve each other most of the time and end up spending time apart. All summer we wanted to go to a little restaurant on the water that we used to enjoy before he came around. We never made it. We will try to get away for dinner and a movie during Thanksgiving when we're up at my parents' house.

re: Parent Shock

Kristen B — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 20:10:37 GMT

This is so beautifully written and refreshing to hear others have the same feelings...I do feel that as my twins approach Three that this has become less of a novelty and that there is this strange permanence setting in. I'm not saying it's a bad thing, but that new-mom-of-twins thing really WAS so crazy and SO intense, and now it's like, blah blah I'm a mom (like you said - "a person with kids, just like my parents, yikes!") I think too that at this age, they don't change as quickly, so I'm not constantly trying to adapt to them, but rather just spending time being their mom, getting to know them. I wonder if that has something to do with it. The one advantage of single motherhood (with a somewhat involved father) is that he takes the kids from time to time which gives me the opportunity to have some time for myself. As a couple who are raising your kids together (woohoo lucky you!) I think it *is* important to farm the kids out and have some time to yourselves too! So do that and don't feel guilty about it, taking care of yourself is the best thing you can do for your kids!

re: Parent Shock

MommyAmy — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 19:13:17 GMT

My girls are 6 months younger than yours, but I feel some of the same thoughts creeping in. That first year I felt empowered, like I could do anything! Sure, it was very hard, but I think because it was so challenging and I was so sleep deprived I felt like I was giving it my EVERYTHING, and knowing I was pushing myself to the limit made me feel like there was no possible way I could do better.

Now? Now I mostly feel like I'm not doing enough, and that because I now I have time to surf Facebook and get enough sleep, and cook a few meals, that somehow I must be missing something. That maybe I'm not spending enough time teaching them things they should know. Like, how to talk (although rationally I do understand that kids pick up language from all kinds of things, not just their parents).

We did take a weekend away back in August while my parents stayed at our house. It was MUCH needed! And I'm already thinking we should go away again very soon.

re: Parent Shock

Amy — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 18:55:23 GMT

Our twin girls are almost 18 months and in many ways I still feel the parenting part of my life so intensely. I generally wonder if the intense edge will ever go away? It is not a bad kind of intense, it is just an edge that really finds it's way into everything I do. My job has different components, and while I still love all of them, it no longer feels the same as before I had children. It is as if I cannot feel as passionately about my job now that I know what it means to really feel passionately about something. I am probably being totally unclear, but that's why you write the blog, and I nod my head and say..."I hear you sister!"

re: Parent Shock

Rachel — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 18:04:54 GMT

Well-written sentiments with which I can totally relate (as usual). Jason and I took a vacation - just the two of us - when Evie was 3.5, and it was SOOOO needed. It's amazing how all-encompassing parenthood can become. We make an effort to go out alone every once in awhile, but I always feel like I'm forgetting something, because I'm so used to carrying children and their stuff.

With Evie's transition to kindergarten, I'm going through a new, yet similar, state of shock. As I read school notices, help with homework, pack school lunches, send in PTO dues, complete order forms for Scholastic book sales, walk to school with the rest of the neighborhood kids and parents, etc...it doesn't feel quite real yet. It's almost like I'm "playing mom." I had gotten used to being a parent of a young child and it felt like part of who I was. Being the parent of a school-age child feels different somehow, and I still haven't gotten used to it.