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• Babes on the Bay

  Apologies for the long pause between postings. We've been away for the past few days, staying with family friends in beautiful Marion, on Buzzards Bay, near the Cape. We brought the girls down last summer, when they were just six months old, and as we were leaving today we were told that if we brought them back next summer, too, that was it; we had to come down with them every year from there on out. Fine with me! It's a beautiful spot, and has all the elements of my ideal family summer getaway: the ocean, green grass and shady trees, an outdoor shower, shelves full of books, big family dinners, an easy, do-what-you-want-when-you-want sort of feel.     Not that we were exactly lounging around. The gals kept us good and busy. But it was easier in some ways than last year, when they were still nursing every three hours and didn't sleep through the night. And this year they could actually do things -- besides just smile and spit up. They colored with markers (none were swallowed, as far as I know) and kicked balls around in the yard with the big kids. They played with all manner of toys, representing three generations (A 1950s stacking toy, 1970s Fisher Price people, a present day Spongebob sprinkler). And, to my delight, they discovered the joys of playing in the sand -- something I always loved to do as a kid.   (More photos after the jump)     Read More... Posted Jul 13 2008, 07:53 PM by Roper with | with 8 comment(s) Filed under: Buzzard's Bay, twins, Twins on vacation, vacation with twins, traveling with twins, beach parties, summer, pirates

• Slumber party

  This weekend, my mom and the gals and I went down to my aunt's house in my old hometown in Connecticut for my cousin's wedding shower. I hadn't originally planned on bringing Elsa and Clio along (The packing! Oh, the packing!) but I'm very glad that I did. They got some QT with their great aunts and first cousins once-removed and various others. They danced to Donna Summer's greatest hits. They ate Mexican corn and bean salad with cilantro. (Anyone know what Mexican corn and bean salad with cilantro looks like when it comes out the other end of a baby? Did you say Mexican corn and bean salad with cilantro? You win!!) The only disappointment was that they didn't get to meet / be met by their great, great aunt for the first time. She was supposed to come up from Philly for the occasion, but she couldn't find her teeth. Ah, well.   For me, one of the nicest parts of the weekend was having the chance to sleep in the same room with the girls -- something I haven't done in a long time. I was worried that we'd wake each other up -- I'd stub my toe in the dark on my way in or they'd cry or I'd snore or all of the above -- but except for a brief bit of crying from Elsa when I first snuck into bed, we all slept soundly through the night. In fact, it was nice to be able to just go over and rub Elsa's back in her crib and shush her and tell her I was right there. It brought me back to those early months when they slept in a co-sleeper crib next to our bed, the two of them, side by side, all wrapped up like little burritos, sweet as can be.     However, allow me clarify: it brought me back to the sweetness of having two babies sleeping nearby. But it did NOT make me miss having newborns. It did not make me miss not having my evenings to myself or waking up every two, three, or four hours in the middle of the night to nurse. Lots of people we know who had their first baby around the same time we had ours  are now thinking about or already having their second, and when I think about them, I thank my lucky stars that we got our two kids in one fell swoop. This is not to say that I never ever entertain the possibility of having a third child. But after I entertain it, I send it home: Buh-bye. Drive safely.   Everyone says that you get a sort of amnesia when it comes to babies -- you forget the discomfort of pregnancy, the pain of birth, the exhaustion and difficulty of the first few months. Hence the survival of the human species despite of the availability of birth control. But I think having twins delays the onset of that amnesia, because right now, the thought of having another baby is absolutely exhausting. Maybe I'll feel differently in a few years. But for the moment, this is absolutely perfect -- and plenty.   Am I gloating? Yeah, OK, maybe a little.   Posted Mar 23 2008, 09:51 PM by Roper with | with 13 comment(s) Filed under: twins, sleeping through the night, traveling with twins, gloating, newborns

• Winter Getaway

  We spent last weekend at our friend Heidi's family's beautiful house in the Berkshires. We had a great time, although I must admit that packing for the trip was a royal pain in the ass. I've decided that this age, between one and two years old, is probably the most gear-heavy time in a child's life. Add the twin factor, and it's one hell of a job to get out the door.   -- 2 Pack-n-Plays (because they're too little for beds but too big to sleep in the bed or share one crib) Don't forget the crib sheets (+ extras in case of disaster) -- 2 portable feeding chairs (because they're too little to sit at the table but too active and messy to be fed in our laps.)  -- A few familiar toys and books (because tupperware and keys don't quite cut it as the only playthings anymore.) -- More than enough clothes (because they are incredibly messy eaters, and still have the occasional diaper blow-out.) -- Safety devices / gates as needed (because at this age the babies are ambulatory but have no sense of self-preservation.)  -- Backpack carriers or stroller (because although they can walk, they can't actually *get* anywhere.) -- All the usual other stuff: diapers, wipes, cups, feeding spoons, washcloths, towels, bibs, snacks, etc. -- If you happen to think of it, your own clothes and toiletries   This is why most of the time, when people say "you guys should come out and visit with the girls sometime!" I smile and nod politely. But who can turn down a weekend with good friends in the beautiful Berkshires? All the stress of packing melts away once you're sitting by a fire with a glass of wine in hand, looking out at a snow-covered lake. Or watching the "I'm F****ing Ben Affleck" video in your PJs with your pals:     Here's our friend Megan with Clio, her own daughter, Marlie, and Elsa (looking much larger and more menacing than she actually is, on account of the angle). Megan's an awesome mom friend to have, because she's all about the "It Takes a Village" approach to hanging out with other folks' babies -- pitching in, picking up, keeping an eye out, lending and borrowing things without a second thought. She's village-rific.     Because the house was full of steps and staircases, and because we didn't want to spend the entire time chasing after our hellbent-on-destruction progeny, we borrowed a play-yard from another MOT for child containment purposes. Elsa and Clio both thought it was really fun to hang out in one little corner. (What does this make them? Claustrophiles?)     On Saturday afternoon, we suited up and headed out for a walk in the snow. As you know, I'm not a proponent of dressing twins alike. But I got these snowsuits on clearance and they only had one color left. And even I must admit, the girls look damned cute in them -- like a pair of little pink ewoks. (And the matching shoes were a gift! Don't shoot!)     We all walked out onto the frozen lake, through squalling snow:     Then we came back, fed the young'uns dinner, ate cheese and crackers, and did a lot of goofy playing and cuddling on the lovely hardwood floors.      It was well worth all the packing.    (Special thanks to our hostess with the mostest and photographer extraordinaire, Heidi Cohen, and her charming new beau.)   Posted Mar 05 2008, 09:00 PM by Roper with | with 12 comment(s) Filed under: vacation with twins, traveling with twins, It Takes a Village, snow, Jimmy Kimmel

• Mama steps out

  Well, this is it: for the first time since my girls were born 13 months ago, I am about to spend the night (and the next three) away. More specifically -- if you must know -- I'm in Tijuana, at a place that rents rooms by the hour. I've got a bottle of tequila and a new friend who says his name is "Juan Smith." We're about to get in his Yugo and drive ten miles from here to do peyote and play strip poker in a double-wide with some Serbian mobster friends of his sister-in-law, so I have to be brief.   Tomorrow morning -- after the peyote has worn off -- I'll go into New York for the AWP conference. I have no real practical reason; it's primarily just for fun, to see various writing friends, and maybe to soak up a little creative inspiration. Some excellent writers will be reading and talking about craft. There will be parties with free drinks, and little bottles of shampoo and body lotion in the hotel room. And for the first time in over a year, I'll be able to sleep late.   I thought that by now, Elsa and Clio would be fully weaned, but they're not. Until two days ago, I was still nursing them first thing in the morning and before bed. On Monday night I didn't nurse them in the evening, but last night they were both grabbing at my shirt, trying to get at the goods, so what's a girl to do? I gave in. And I did end up bringing my pump down here to...er...Tijuana. My plan is to pump in the mornings, so that at least when I get back home, if the gals haven't totally adjusted to life without the boob, I can go back to nursing them once or twice a day. Who would have thought it would be so hard to give this up? I honestly think they're ready, for the most part (last night's booby-grabbing was an aberration). It's me who isn't.   It was tough to say good-bye. Absolutely. And at the same time, I must admit: as I was packing and making plans, I couldn't help feeling a little giddy. Strange -- it's not like it's some huge adventure to  spend four days in New York. I grew up an hour outside the city. And before kids, I frequently traveled to far more exotic places, for much longer stretches of time.   But today I found myself getting that old Lonely Planet thrill as I chose what clothes to pack and plotted subway routes, programmed friends' numbers into my cell and tucked a few emergency Luna bars into my suitcase. Driving down to my in-laws' this afternoon (OK, fine; I'm not in Tijuana) it was surprisingly liberating to have it be just me and a stack of CDs in the car. No crying or whining. No acrobatic maneuvers to retrieve lost bottles and pacifiers. And when I arrived, I just got out of the car and went inside and had a glass of wine. No babies to carry. No changing, no feeding, no lugging bags and bags of gear. It was just self-sufficient, self-contained little me again: one suitcase, one purse, one laptop. (And, yeah, one extra bag with the breast pump.) It was a little like reuniting with an old friend: Jane before she was Mama Jane. I remember her! That girls was all right.   And still, at the restaurant we went to for dinner tonight, I was magnetically drawn to the one baby in the place. I came back to the house and started looking at pictures of the girls. I called A. and told him to kiss them -- and himself, barely back from the UK -- for me, repeatedly.   On the balance, though: I'm damned glad to be doing this. I think it will be good for me -- to spend a few days focused purely on me me me. I am determined not to feel guilty about enjoying it. Though it seems like something of a paradox, I  do think it is possible to relish the time fully and still miss my family dearly.   In the meantime, the peyote and the strip poker are calling. (My in-laws are crazy like that.) So, Buenas noches, mis amigos. See you in a few.   Posted Jan 30 2008, 09:28 PM by Roper with | with 5 comment(s) Filed under: traveling with twins, AWP, first time away, guilt, peyote

• Necessity is the mother of rationalization

  Today, for the first time in recent memory, I went to a McDonald's. Well, I didn't go, exactly. I used the drive-up window.  I was leaving my parents' house and didn't have time to grab anything before I left, because my goal was to leave as soon as possible after the girls ate lunch so we could make it home before they got hungry again or needed a diaper change. There was a McDonald's with a drive-through window in town, right near the highway entrance, and since I couldn't easily get out of the car to get, say, an organic, vegetarian sandwich from a locally-owned business, I did the arches. A grilled chicken sandwich and -- because they're just so damned good, and if you're going to sin, sin gloriously -- an order of fries. No beverage. (See previous post).   I am generally not cool with fast food, environmentally or nutritionally speaking. I think it sucks that for a lot of Americans, fast food is the most affordable, most convenient choice. Since reading and teaching Fast Food Nation while I was in grad school, I avoid McDonald's and the like almost completely. But today, I found myself reasoning: "Hey, I'm alone with twin babies and I'm hungry and tired. This is the only place where I can get food without getting out of the car. It's OK to cut myself some slack, just this once."   And it is, I guess. But it did make me think anew about how tricky it is to draw those lines -- the common good vs. convenience and sanity -- where babies are concerned. It's easy to talk yourself out of doing the more environmentally/socially responsible but difficult thing when you've got a kid or kids to think about.   Cloth diapers, for example. We could have done cloth diapers. It wouldn't have killed us. It would have been an up-front investment, and perhaps a little bit inconvenient at times. But we cried "twins!" and used it as our excuse to go the disposable route. So, we're lazy and irresponsible, right? (That is, if you belive cloth is better than paper.)   On the other hand, we DO use the more-expensive Seventh Generation disposables, and we make most of our own baby food to avoid all that packaging and processing. And our babies wear almost all second-hand clothes. So, we're good, right?    But on the third hand, I've started driving to work instead of taking the T since the babies were born, we keep the house warmer for their sake, and we do about twice as much laundry and dishes as we used to. So, we're....hypocritical? Hopeless? Human?   I'm going to go with human. And, as such, perpetually inconsistent, conflicted, and not quite good enough. But trying as best we can.   One more rationalization, though? Not really an environmental one, but a caloric one: I bet the high sodium content of the fries was a good way to keep me retaining water and, thus, not having to stop and pee on the way home. (See previous post.) So I pretty much HAD to get them. Come to think of it, I probably should have gotten one of those deep-fried apple pies, too...   Posted Oct 21 2007, 08:50 PM by Roper with | with 9 comment(s) Filed under: traveling with twins, guilty liberal whining, french fries

• Of mosh pits and pit stops

  Not to be outdone by her older sister, Clio has started dancing to music, too, with her own unique Clio style. She's not so concerned with staying on the beat. For her, it's more about letting go, man. Really feeling it. And note the rad 180 she does in the middle of the dance. (That's my mom dancing along in the background. She's got her own style, too.)       We're up in Maine, now, staying at my parents' house for the weekend. This was the first time I've attempted a road trip of any length alone with the girls. (My mom, who'd been staying and dancing with us for a few days, had to come up a day before me.) I was careful not to drink too much water before I left, and though I would have liked a cup of coffee for the road, it was just too risky. I didn't bring a stroller, which meant that there was pretty much no way I could have stopped to go to the bathroom. Fortunately, I didn't have to, but I tried to imagine what I would do if things got really, really desperate. I decided that I could:   1.) Pull up close to a gas station with a convenience store, look inside to see if there was a sane-looking woman working there and, if there was, run in and beg her to go out and keep an eye on the girls while I peed. (No offense, guys, but it just wouldn't be cool to ask some random man to watch my children. Probably not so cool to ask a random woman either, but if I had no other choice....)    2.) Pull over to the side of the road somewhere semi-secluded but not too secluded and go behind a bush while still able to see the car, but somehow still hidden from other motorists. It would be hard to find the ideal terrain scenario for this.   3.) Go to a Dunkin Donuts, where there's a high probability of seeing a police officer (in New England, the cops at donut shops thing isn't just a stereotype -- or a mere line from a Bangles song, for that matter -- it's for real, I swear), and ask him or her to keep an eye on the babies while I went inside.   4.) Put one baby in the baby backpack, which I did have in the car, and carry the other one, and go into a rest stop. But this would present the problem of what to do with the baby I'm carrying while in the restroom. Put her on the floor? Ick. But again. Extreme bladder emergencies require extreme measures.   5.) Figure out how to get online with my cell phone, which I believe is theoretically possible, and put a post on my blog asking my beloved readers what they would do, because I'm sure they'd come through with some killer ideas....   Posted Oct 19 2007, 04:08 PM by Roper with | with 7 comment(s) Filed under: coffee, traveling with twins, moshing babies, rest stops, dancing grandmas