Baby Squared

Kate and Emily are day-trained, but not night.  I give them one last chance for using the potty at night, and then put on their Pull Ups and that's it.  If they try to stall bedtime by saying that they have to go again, I remind them that they just went and tell them to get back in bed.  I'm not sure how I'll handle night training, but they seem far from ready for that so I guess I've got time!

My DH felt the same way about the word "panties" so I had to come up with something else.  "Underwear" and "underpants" were the natural choices, but the girls have adapted them to "unders" so that's what we call them.  "Kate!  Where are your unders?"  "Mimi, can you pull up your unders by yourself?"  Ridiculous, but hey - whatever works!

Good luck this weekend!!

Hmm. One of my earliest memories is feeling so wondrously smug because I could wear underwear and Evan still had diapers, which, even though my mom explained was because he was a boy and boys take longer, was clear proof that I was a superior human being. But since you can't use that as motivation since they're both girls... have you ever considered making them really EXCITED about underwear? Use corporations to your benefit and buy a pack of, say, Sesame Street or Dora the Explorer underwear and then underwear might stop being scary and start being cool. Plus, they might be more reluctant to make poopy if it's on Elmo's face, or whatever.

It's a totally untested theory, but anything's worth a sot, right?

In the midst of it here, with my 3-year-old boy.  He's sitting on the toilet right now, waiting for pee and poop before popping him in the bath (where he will pee if he hasn't already).  We're also on the brink of just making the switch to underwear, but my husband is kinda weirded out by the whole training thing (I think he's coming around).  Since we both work and often share equal care responsibilities, I don't think we can do it unless we're both committed to messiness!

My daughter did the same thing, saying she needs it over and over after lights out. If I didn't bring her, she would somehow manage to squeeze out just a bit more and say she had a wet diaper and needed a new one. Now when she says she needs it after lights out, I put her on the potty in the bathroom with only a nightlight, and leave her alone -- tell her I have to go clean something and to call me when she's done. So she's getting little reinforcement for doing it. It works pretty well and is less frustrating for me because I'm not sitting waiting. My son's not there yet, but I think if it was both of them I'd have to put them in separate rooms while they tried?

Good luck with all that! Our daughter is day trained, but we still throw her into a diaper at night. If she keeps the diaper dry all night, she gets a treat in the morning. Once she does that regularly, I'll think about putting her in panties at night. But I'm not in a rush!

I highly recommend the underpants boot camp technique.  One thing that also worked for us was having Evie wear NO pants (or underpants) around the house so that she could sit on the potty immediately when she needed to go without having to fuss with pants.  You have to be willing to see naked tushies for a few days, though.

The first time she wore underpants, she peed in them and started screaming "It falled out!  It falled out!"  I guess she thought the pee would stay in, like a diaper.  After that, she got it.

Have fun!

@Alyson: my son calls them "unders" too!

Michael has got the peeing thing down.  It just happened one day, without any real "training" from me.  He still wets at night though. Our new issue is he gets lazy sometimes and just goes in his Pull Up. This is partly my fault because a couple of times on the weekend when finding a bathroom wasn't convenient, I told him to pee in his Pull Up.  Now he thinks it's an option.  As far as poop is concerned, he's not there yet.  I honestly don't think he has control. Last week he was naked and got really upset when he pooped on the floor.  He had no idea that it was coming and no clue how to stop it.

Potty training walks the fine line between empowering your child with independence and becoming subject to their every potty whim.

Just know that there are going to be times when Elsa or Clio has an accident and it will be entirely your fault. Maybe you misread the signs, maybe you thought they could wait, or maybe you thought they were "crying potty." No matter the reason, it happens to everyone and it's okay. As long as you're mostly consistent during the day, not allowing them to "cry potty" after ample opportunity to go before bed won't be a setback. Trust your intuition, give them plenty of appropriate times to try, and don't fall for a potty ploy.

I just have to say, I am so there. I mean, my son is so at the same stage. Only he's about 6 months older (I think), and there's only one of him, so you totally have me whupped in the Mommy Olympics. From my own experience, I do recommend a happy bribe-filled boot camp, and then don't look back. If you get stuck on a half-measure -- say, "unders" at home, pull-ups at preschool -- you'll be living with that half-measure for what'll feel like the rest of your life. It's not fair (I realize this in retrospect) to have them "graduate" to a new height and then discover shortly thereafter that there's a whole new mountain to be climbed.

You are in for all sorts of potty-related cuteness, along with the frustration, though. The other day, as we were passing Bed, Bath & Beyond (which just happens to be nestled between Noah's two favorite corporate behemoths, Barnes & Noble and Michael's Crafts), Noah turned to me and asked, in his very sweetest, "please, please" tone, "Mommy, can we please get me my own toilet brush"?

Oh, and mine constantly requests toilet paper, too, usually when we're already 10 minutes late for school. Go figure.

Thanks for the light-hearted post. I had a good laugh.  

I think going 'cold turkey' is the way to go - but expect lots of accidents and bumps in the road.  Ultimately, you will laugh about this one day.  My daughter peed in the ball pit at My Gym when potty training - I thought I would DIE at the time but it's pretty funny thinking about it in retrospect.

Good luck and hang in there!

Warmly,

Suzanne Riffel, author of "The Potty Boot Camp: Basic Training for Toddlers"

We did toddler beds tonight Jane. A big step. They climbed out of pack n plays once at the beach and then climbed out of the cribs today so I figured it was time.  At 8 they are both asleep. Eric just lied down in his bed and went to sleep no problems.  Harrison cried and acted scared and would stand at the door and cry, but I finally got him in his bed and after patting him he feel asleep.  See how tonight goes.

I file EVERYTHING under "this too shall pass."  It's the only way I'm going to survive 2 1/2.

I put Will on the potty before we put jammies on.  That's it.  If he says he has to go a few minutes later, I tell him that he just sat on the potty and can try again in the morning.  I figure he's just trying to stall and I don't want him to think it works, even if that does mean he pees in his diaper.

I think potty training is trickier when both parents work because you can't go cold-turkey.  I couldn't in good conscience send him to daycare in underwear knowing that he may have to be changed (and the floor mopped) several times.  We've done undies on the weekend several times with success, though.  And they're no fools - they know that pull-ups are just diapers.

We'll get there eventually.  Oh!  A couple of months ago I was praising him for pooping on the potty and I said, "Soon you'll have to learn to tinkle in the potty, too."  (He potty-trained backwards, yes)  He said, "Mommy, I just don't want to wait for you."  So lazy.

Good luck with the potty camp! We all deserve medals when they can wipe their own butts ! I think that is one of a mother's biggest services to mankind.

As for "panties" - ugh I detest that word...we say "knickers" , "underpants"

or  "undies". You might enjoy the story of "The Terrible Underpants", my girls think it is hilarious and I threaten to make them a pair exactly the same. It's an Australian book BTW. We have to remind one twin several times a day to put her knickers back on whilst the other insists on wearing hers to bed under her pjs and over the diaper. One hint make sure you get undies with little bows on the front,or keep the tags in the back...so they can figure out which way to put them on.

Good luck this weekend, Jane! We didn't make any real progress with Josie until we let her go "bare bottomed" around the house. We let her wear dresses with nothing on underneath so she could quickly and easily sit down. And then she just suddenly got it. Underwear (or undies, as we call them) weren't really an incentive, although we got her a bunch of Dora ones and now she asks for them. We used (and still use) M&Ms and other various treats for rewards, although I know you're not supposed to bribe. For nighttime, having the potty in her room was key. She can climb out of her toddler bed, use the potty, and then get right back into bed. Actually, what really happens is that she uses it, then goes to her door and yells "mama, papa I peed!" until we come running to congratulate her. She's still not trained outside the house -- she'll only use her little potty, and will go over friends' who have little potties, but won't use the big potty at preschool or anywhere else. So that's the next thing for us to work on. But, honestly, I was surprised at how quickly she trained at home, and I think the key was not pushing at all until a few things were in place: the ability (and desire) to dress/undress herself, the toddler bed, and a strong dislike of dirty diapers and having them changed. (Every time she'd complain about needing to be changed, we'd say, if you used the potty we'd never have to change you!)

Let us know if you want some moral support this weekend and/or us to bring you supplies from the outside world :)