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Blog in the fog

I wish I could say that I've recovered completely from this bout of PWD (Post-weaning depression). I am definitely feeling somewhat better, but I'm definitely still not myself. When I do feel better, though, I'm thinking maybe I should go on the road as the spokesperson for PWD awareness: do the daytime TV circuit, give out PWD bracelets and bumper stickers, get into a fight with Tom Cruise -- the whole nine yards. Seriously, it's so strange to me that there isn't more information out there about this. Even the LaLeche League web site had basically nothing on it about the post-weaning hormone crash. Crazy!

 

Anyway, here's a round-up of tidbits from the last week or so, plus some random fab hat pics. (Please forgive the scattered nature of this post. Think of it as a reflection of how the inside of my brain feels.)

 

1. Reports of the death of the morning nap have been greatly exaggerated. To our sheer delight, the morning nap boycott has turned out to be a passing thing. The girls are still taking two naps; the morning one is just starting a little later and not lasting as long. We'll take whatever we can get.

 

 

 

 

2. Elsa has a new word: "Nana." It primarily means "banana," but is increasingly used to refer to any food. Meanwhile, Clio now knows the names of all the meals, as indicated by the fact that if you say "breakfast," "lunch," or "dinner," she will make the sign for "more"  (which we've taught them in conjunction with meals) or "eat." Elsa also knows the sign for "cup," which she uses for cup and bottle. Next week we plan to teach them the signs for "fricasee," "julienne" and "yes, I'd like freshly ground pepper with that."

 

 

 

 

 

3. In my hormonally-induced torpor, I confess to using TV as a mother's helper of late. The girls don't stay interested for very long -- 10 minutes at a stretch, tops. But it's something. Anyway, I just thought I'd pass on the sum total of what I've learned from children's television in the past week: 

  • Curious George is a monkey so he can do things we can't. (I think it's important to add that he can also do things that most monkeys can't.)
  • Dora may be a good role model for girls, and it's cool that she helps kids learn Spanish and all, but her voice is really fucking annoying. 
  • Teamwork/cooperation is the most important thing in the world. Nay, the universe.

 

 

Cooperate, dammit!

 

I'm sorry I don't have more exciting news to report, in a more entertaining fashion. It's been a pretty tough week. I really appreciate all your comments and support on the last post. It's nice to know I'm not alone in this. Hopefully, it'll be over soon, and I'll be back to my well-adjusted, generally happy self. Except with much smaller breasts.

 


Comments

 

betty said:

i was going to remind you that smaller boobs equals people thinking you are skinnier but then i thought. wait. she has been saying how hormonal/sad she is. now she will think people are telling her she needs to lose weight. OF COURSE you do not need to lose weight. but no matter how skinny you are, being told you are skinny when you delivered two human bodies into the world feels kind of good. sorry for your sadness and happy for the return of the naps. sounds like they are trying to work with you! maybe the tv did teach them about teamwork! :)

February 18, 2008 6:44 PM
 

Lila said:

Do you think your PWD is worse than most because you were nursing twins for a year (twice as much and twice as long as most mothers)?

February 18, 2008 7:55 PM
 

mombo said:

The sign for "banana" is really cool--you basically "peel" your pointer finger. My son is still just pointing and grunting (and occasionally squealing at the highest possible human decible) but occasionally will sign "more". Baby signing is tough, but I know one of these days he's going to do the "I love you" sign back instead of trying to bite my finger. I hope, anyway.

February 18, 2008 8:53 PM
 

Roper said:

Lila -- I think it probably has more to do with the fact that I am predisposed to depression. On the other hand, I wouldn't be surprised if the fact that I was nursing two babies at once has something to do with it, too...more hormones, bigger crash? I doubt the length of time has too much to do with it, though, since some women nurse for 2 or more years and don't have a problem...So many variables.

Betty -- don't worry; I didn't take it the wrong way! Yeah, though I'd rather not admit it, I don't think I'd have a problem with people telling me I look skinny.

February 18, 2008 9:10 PM
 

chochomom said:

Sorry to hear you are having such a tough time, but at least you haven't lost the morning nap :) My energizer bunny takes only two 15-20 minute cat naps a day and one more short one if I'm lucky (and he just turned 10 ms).

One thing to also be on the look out for during weaning is mastitis. That can make you feel really sick too. Check for hotness and or red spots or sore areas tha feel like clogged ducts.

February 18, 2008 9:32 PM
 

Eva said:

I hope you start to feel better soon. You have me kind of freaked, I may never wean now. I was proud we are finally starting to drop one of our remaining 4 daytime nursing sessions (we won't mention the nights). Hmm, may have to rethink that!

February 18, 2008 10:05 PM
 

Andrea said:

We enjoy Jack's Big Music Show- more because Laurie Berkner is on and Hailey can dance.  I don't use TV as a babysitter, just as another source of music!  I can't stand Dora because she yells everything....

February 19, 2008 10:24 AM
 

Stephanie said:

Just wanted to chime in on how common I think the moodiness is with weaning.  When my husband and I sleep trained our son, I went from multiple feedings in a night down to one and felt a drastic mood change.  It only lasted a few days, helped in part I think because I was getting so much more sleep (duh!), but it still stunned me.  Now, at 10 months, my son appears to be self-weaning, and I am slowly reducing the number of times I pump in a day.  But I'm afraid of the depression that comes from the physical hormonal crash, as well as the simple loss of that emotional connection that only a mama can know.   You're doing great and this will get better.  Good luck!

February 19, 2008 11:16 AM
 

SER said:

This is total assvice, but have you considered taking high doses of fish oil (w/ lots of DHA)?  I've heard people say that this is associated with a better mood.  My friend who was having the booby blues says she feels better after doing this.  Ask Dr. Google and see what he says.

In any case, I hope you feel better soon.  I would bet that the nursing-twins thing does mean a bigger hormone crash.

February 19, 2008 11:31 AM
 

SER said:

More assvice - I just searched on "fish oil and PPD," and this post from Ask Moxie came up:

www.askmoxie.org/.../qa-ppd-after-we.html

February 19, 2008 11:34 AM
 

Julia said:

My mom says that she empathizes with you because she had a really hard time weaning us when we had absolutely no intention of stopping with the nursing. She also says that while she never got depressed (then again, if I had to choose one human being who is the least likely to be depressed, I would choose my mom, she just doesn't work that way), she did feel very sad about letting us go and be fully-formed children who do no rely on her breasts for nutrition.

I say I empathize with you because having small boobs totally depresses ME all the time. True story.

Also, hi to Elsa and Clio! They just keep getting cuter, I don't know what you're doing to them. I think we need to arrange a "I'm stealing them but with the knowledge that I will return them to you" sort of date at some point in time, and by that, I mean I totally should have done that yesterday instead of staring out the window for an hour because I literally had nothing better to do with myself.

February 19, 2008 12:22 PM
 

Larki said:

Just catching up on blogs here...sorry to hear the blues have hit so hard.  You have my most heartfelt sympathy, and hopes for a quick resolution: no words of wisdom, but many good wishes here.  

We should go out drinking sometime soon.  Or maybe just go out: downers might not be a good idea for either of us!

February 19, 2008 1:38 PM
 

Jennifer said:

I have to agree about Dora-can't stand her and don't like the whole Spanish is better than English attitude I get from her.  Give me Sesame Street anyday.

February 19, 2008 5:24 PM
 

Stephani said:

Your girls are adorable! Two things: When my daughter stopped bf I experienced a big hormonal drop and became depressed but I think I was more so depressed because I wouldn't be bf any longer. I only nursed one, but she was one of two! Kudos to you for bf both for so long, I only made it to 4 months with just one of the twins (my son was born with a cleft lip and palate and refused to nurse) ALso, I agree with your comment about Dora... I absolutely can not stand her!! But the kiddos love her! Diego is somewhat better though! Hope you feel better!

February 19, 2008 7:47 PM
 

Jen said:

Would it be too intrusive to ask you to talk/blog about your pre-maternal(if so)disposition to depression?

February 20, 2008 1:26 AM
 

Jami said:

I don't think this is assvice, as I truly believe that a B Vitamin Complex supplement (all the B vitamins, baby!) will help.  I suggest you take it sometime in the mid to late afternoon.  I'm rooting for happy boobs!

February 20, 2008 1:36 AM

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About Roper

I'm an advertising copywriter, wannabe novelist, mother of twins, musician's wife, bleeding heart and wiseass.

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About the Blogger

Jane Roper

Jane Roper in Boston

One baby? Piece of cake. Try two. This working mother gives you the inside scoop on the ultimate in extreme parenting: twins.

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