So it's official now. Confirmed by the pediatrician, even. Josie is going to be a SUPERMODEL. And what does that mean? Jet lag, excessive drug use, involvement with an abusive rock star, and, of course, royalty payments for Babydaddy. Shweet.
I base this on our just completed 15-month checkup, at which Josie ranked in the 29th percentile for weight and the 94th percentile for height. Now I know what all you sensitive parents out there are thinking: Hey, those stats are constantly shifting and therefore meaningless and stupid to focus on anyway, as they foster an idiotic sense of competition and achievement-angst in parents.
And really, I'd agree IF MY BABY WASN'T SO OBVIOUSLY DESTINED TO BE A SUPERMODEL. And I'd be more inclined to listen to your rap, frankly, if you weren't so obviously jealous and bitter over the fact that my BABY IS DESTINED TO BE A SUPERMODEL.
Also, there are several strong supportig indicators. Such as:
*Camera-friendly
*Very picky about food
*Already arrested twice in airports
*Small vocabulary
*Can be moody
Actually, the important thing -- as we all know -- is that Josie is happy and healthy as she reaches yet another landmark. Because without her health, frankly, she'll never become a SUPERMODEL.
Here are a few exclusive photos, provided simply to give you a sense of how Jos operates in a spontaneous shoot. You should probably know that I took these photos and did so while yelling things at Jos in a lispy German accent.
Show me that long und leanish torso, Yossie!
Ja! Ja! Ist your hertz, mine leibchen!
Just go crazy, kleinkind! Tear up zee paper if that's what you're feelink
